Won’t change your pants
Although you’ve dropped nachos
Homer you’re a mess
When you get drunk at Moe’s

At work you will sleep
The Power Plant’s melting
You shout, “D’Oh!”
As Bart you’re strangling

And you’re fat and you’re bald
I’m stressed but I cope
Mind’s dim there’s no doubt
12 Duffs you have downed
You’re drawing the flies
And scarf curly fries
In fright, I’m fed up
But still you I love
(You) Constantly get into trouble
(You) went to space and broke the Hubble
Cause you’re fat and you’re bald
The edge of my rope
You spit from your mouth
Onto Birthday clowns
(Clowns, clowns, clowns, clowns, clowns, clowns, clowns…)

My sisters’ plea
Said I should see a shrink
When I got married
Words stung like Bumblebees

You’re relaxed watch TV
That’s why you’re chubby
Ate fried dough
While I’m going insa-a-ane

Cause you’re fat and you’re bald
Your brain is quite slow
You’re not a Boy Scout
Instead you’re a louse
You’re rude not polite
Ned Flanders you fight
You swear clothes have shrunk
In truth you’re no hunk
(You) have a crayon lodged inside your brain
(That’s) why you’ve never passed the 3rd grade
You’re fat and you’re bald
Your plow removes snow
When pissed you won’t pout
You’ll yell and you’ll frown

You once worked as a farmer
Then your job was catch lobster
The kitchen with the toaster
I’m safe here but lost my mind

Since I’m your wife
My whole brain just explodes

Cause you’re fat and you’re bald
Sprayed me with the hose
You’re far from devout
At church heard you groan
The thrills are so slight
When in bed at night
Your voice is so gruff
While drinking more Duff

You’re fat and you’re bald
Doctor gave you dope
So now you’re drugged out
I swear my head pounds
You’re no humble knight
Hardly a delight
You’re flabby not buff
Broke laws wore handcuffs
(You) would give anything for a doughnut
(You) have the tendency to go nuts

You’re fat and you’re bald
And could use some soap
Though you smell like trout
I’ll keep you around
('round round round round round round round)