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Song Parodies -> "Barack , You're Not Old"

Original Song Title:

"Hot n Cold"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Katy Perry

Parody Song Title:

"Barack , You're Not Old"

Parody Written by:

EmiLoca

The Lyrics

"It's been a great ride. But I know how quickly these fads can pass. You all remember the pet rock, the mood ring, Howard Dean."

Okay, Barack. Okay then.
You take no bribes
Yet the world licks your toes
And you?  Unimpressed
By the rich C.E.O.'s
And you pause to think
'Stead of speak Southernly
You should know
We'll never vote for thee

'Cause Barack, you're not old
Not blessed with old dough
Too thin, too devout
Too Muslim, too brown
You're wrong about Wright
You're black, you're not white
On Nightline, caked up
With prissy make up
(You!) You don't wanna bomb the gays, oh
(Ew!) That's where the ceiling's gotta go, so
Barack, you're on hold
Distressed by our polls
Won't win, there's no doubt
Pass on Bush-Dick's crown!

He used some weed
(The Bush twins
Never drink)
Wants safe energy
(Windmills kill -
Splattered geese)
His best friends
All left wing
Vow contained warring
I don't vote
For choicers, chumps or cha-a-ange

'Cause Barack has no gold
He hails from skid row
His parents are Krauts
His marriage, unsound
His daughters start fights
At clubs Friday nights
His prostate's flamed up
Michelle's an A-cup
(You) Why not try the NBA, or
(You) Could try to make it as a golf pro
‘Cause you’re caught, Barack-rolled
Remember Jim Crow?
Your court time’s run out
Go back to Chi-town

Dumb ones call, “Imposter!
Wants a place ‘mongst our high rollers.”
Stuck George Bush on the roaster
Now that lame duck’s fried
Dude, who’s in line? Just McCain and some bro…

But Barack’s a sunk boat
(Al Sharpton, take note)
Can’t win on this route
Of playing profound
Too numbly polite
Steps back from each fight
That grim, austere frown
Spells, “F-ck, I‘m knocked down”

Yeah Barack, he’s out cold
From drinking merlot
Chagrined and burnt out
From hugging Boy Scouts
Feels wrong to be Biden
Bullets worldwide
Purse light, with drained trough
He’s pissed, campaign’s off

(You) Your ideals are all the rage - so?
(Boo!) But in the end you’re just a gong show
A hot centerfold
Who can’t break the mold
You’re done - now go pout
Send in the McClown!
DKTOS? Hot n Cold

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
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 4
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   14
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Mayfield - August 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Wow! Now that's some fancy rhyming and timing you got going on there. This is a hoot when you listen to TOS and read along. Otherwise it don't flow, cause the song is a bit stop and go and juxtaposed and all that jive.
EmiLoca - August 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for the feedback, Tim! Yeah, it's an incredibly awkward read without the (admittedly-piece-of-crap) OS and I appreciate your clicking on the link and putting yourself through Perry's torturous growling. :-)
some person - August 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Emi Loca? I haven't seen you in quite a while!! Welcome back. and good parody too.
uwannakno??? - September 09, 2008 - Report this comment
this isnt funny at all its just plain ignorant...and for the record he is white dumba$$
Matthias - September 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Wait, wait, wait, wait.... Whoa! Are you trying to tell me.... Are you really trying to tell me... I can't BELIEVE that you're trying to tell me that... Kathy Perry has another song!!! (Nice parody here Emiloca, I loved the line about Splattering geese, and this is racist, but racist in a fun way!)
Matthias - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Oops! I mean Katy Perry (What a weird way to spell your name...)
Agrimorfee - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Turns out I like this song more than "Kissed A Girl"....but I don't hold that against you. There's been a whole raft of Barack parodies this month, primarily by our Malcolm Higgins, deriding BO and his candidacy with inaccuracies, prejudices and other BS. I THINK you are satirizing that, and for that, high marks.
EmiLoca - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you some person, uwannakno???, Matthias, and Agrimorfee for the feedback! (Ha ha, Matthias... racism CAN be fun!)
Max Power - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Great, 555 years old
Peter Andersson - September 20, 2008 - Report this comment
This was funny satire (and for the obscure record, I can't believe how politics in my seven party parliament can be less funny to mock than your two party system).
Guy - September 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-Aug-08)

So you predict a falling Barama-tor? Love how in your face this is! I'm pretty sure from reading this that the Barama is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Lots of great refs. I went Yikes! when I read that ref about A-Cup. HA! Love the ending - Send in McClown. Priceless!
EmiLoca - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks to Power, Pete and PGuy for the feedback! For the two or three who weren't sure earlier, YES, this is not my real opinion of Barack Obama but merely the perspective of the conservative blogosphere/edger-cated masses. I mean, hell-o. I'm twenty. Of COURSE I'm in love with the guy. ;-)
bobpiecheese - September 28, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm not into US-politics parodies, mainly 'cause I have no clue what's going on (why would a teenage Aussie give a crap about Yankee politics?). That said, nice take on the apparantely-typical opinion of Barack.
Below Average Dave - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I think this was a satire that was being anti-Barack while actually being pro-Barack. . .I think. I'm not 100% sure, but the lines about him being Black made me think this was a satire, I hope so-because that makes this kinda funny, if it's not a satire I'd be very concerned, but I'm pretty sure it is though.
EmiLoca - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Once again... yeah. EmiLoca = ProBama.
Jeff Reuben - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
How many songs start with a Barack Obama toe fetish? That's the power of EmiLoca, like I said, great to see you back, hope to see you in here next month too :)
Phil Alexander - September 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Great stuff, Emi - I loved his reply when asked whether he'd inhaled after admitting smoking dope: "Yes, I inhaled: that was the point" (or something like that). Best of luck to him...
Kate - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
u rascist!!! He's not Muslim, his best friends are not all left wing, and if you want another 4 years of Bush, try quitting wutever drug your on. I cant beleive I'm reading this. call me a prude if u want, but this is TOTALLY WRONG
EmiLoca - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Kate. Kaaaaaate. Joke. I was joking. This whole thing was a joke. And how dare you call me racist! I have TWO black friends on myspace!

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