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Song Parodies -> "Golf Swinger"

Original Song Title:

"Gold Digger"

Original Performer:

Kanye West

Parody Song Title:

"Golf Swinger"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I never played golf before in my life but I always loved golf based movies like "Caddyshack" and "Happy Gilmore" and sucking at this sport is a lot funnier than sucking at other sports for some reason... Maybe it's because a lot of people do suck at this sport because it's so challenging but it's down right hilarious!
My ball is flying
Into the trees
I'm not an expert
Of the green
Oh, I'm a Golf Swinger
It makes me frown
How much I stink

(They think it's funny)
This course I'm playing as a Golf Swinger (It makes me scream)
The ball I'm missing, Flipped it the finger
(This sport is crummy)
This course I'm playing as a Golf Swinger (I'll let off steam)
The ball I'm missing, Flipped it the finger
I suck, man, You'd better duck (That ball will weave)
I stink, man, Plops in the drink (Sport makes me heave)
I blow, man, My brain is slow (That's why I greave)
I frown, man, I'm mad!

Golfers stay calm
While they grip that club with their palms
But you'll see me blow like a bomb
You can hear me in Guam
Cause they can see that I suck
Like a loser at prom
Par's too hard, I've got no luck
To the ball they do harm, Full of smarm
When they score a hole in one
I whack the firs
Pathetic, I'm next in the tall grass, Not like Tiger
Driver's utterly worthless, I'll quit
My ball's in the lake with a loud splash and I'm pissed
Okay, Flipped my lid, My club I'm gonna bend
The shaft I'm gotta mend but now whack shins
This is no game of zen cause everytime I play
If you're golfing on this hole then get out of my way
Or you'll cry
As crazed as Happy Gilmore
I'll act absurd cause my golf game makes me flustered
My rear end is kicked when I pick up that putter
I don't care, I'm still gonna play, I'm a sucker

You'll see me begging as a Golf Swinger (While wearing twead)
Each time I'm stressing and I'm a flinger
(The ball I'm chucking)
You'll see me begging as a Golf Swinger (Far from the lead)
Each time I'm stressing and I'm a flinger
(Act like a dummy)
So bad, man, While wearing plaid (Ball hits the trees)
So poor, man, While yelling "Fore! (Chased by some bees)
So gross, man, I think I'm toast (Your neck I'll squeeze)
A clown, man, I'm mad!

18 beers, 18 beers
Hell, My golf game might impove after 18 beers
Finally putting but it stops too short from just dropping in
And then it rolls too far, Oh shit, Guys snicker at this
Those pricks make it look easy, Tap it and it's dunking
"Too good for your home?!" I'm yelling and I'm jumping
Now my friends know I'm not sporty: Psycho, Chest I'm thumping
One down seventeen more, Groan "Oh no" they keep coming
And whacking around this tiny white ball's not too cunning
Now my caddy's injured, Rhinos are less harming, harming, harming...
I think this sport sucks, I swear I'm gonna give up!
My dumb swing's caused by how I stand
Cause when I squeeze this brass it's gonna land in sand
18 beers, 18 beers
After my 18th Bud Lite, I've become a golfing whiz!

You'll find me drinking as a golf swinger (I found the key!)
No hole I'm missing when I'm a swigger
(Might be a drunky!)
You'll find me drinking as a golf swinger (Gold I'll achieve!)
No hole I'm missing when I'm a swigger
(Now I'm not sucky!)
Chug down beer and wear the crown (I gotta pee!)
Chug down beer, I'm not a clown (I gotta pee!)
Chug down beer, I'll rock this town (I gotta pee!)
Chug down beer, Impressed?

Now you can see me playing as a golf swinger on the green
Come serve me some booze, you folks, And I'll make you scream
Well, Not that extreme but you'll clap politely
It's vicious when it's whacked but down the fairway it's clean
All while I'm wasted, Placed fifth
Couldn't make it without Schlitz that I've been chuggin'
Now I'm on a mission, hiccup, I'll win the prize!
While dressed in these plus-fours made sure that ball flies
Once, I wasn't fried
Now golf is my calling and beer's my vice
Before I was sprawling and dying
My score made heads whirl
Now this sport I've won with a full glass though I might hurl

Chug down beer in Coor's I'll drown (Not in the leaves)
Chug down beer, I've lost that frown (Rolled up my sleeves)
Chug down beer, So cold and brown (That ball I'll cleave)
Chug down beer, The best!
(My wordsh I'm shlurring!)

(Let's watch Caddyshack)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   1
 3   1
 4   3
 5   8

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - July 26, 2015 - Report this comment
You swung an eagle here.
Steve - July 26, 2015 - Report this comment
FOUR! No, 555!!!
Max Power - July 27, 2015 - Report this comment
You hit a more precise shot than Happy Gilmore, that's for certain and it's a hole in one in all 5 tries.
Blaydeman - July 27, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Better than on par with any Kanye parody I've ever read. Fun idea with a little twist at the end. Very good pacing and funny jokes. I'm looking at a solid scorecard here, Matty. Nice work!
bobpiecheese - July 28, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This is why I'll stick to mini-golf. Great parody here, 555 holes in Bud!
Abbott Skelding - July 28, 2015 - Report this comment
Very funny stuff. As someone who only plays golf maybe once a year, I could definitely relate. I love the inclusion of "You too good for your home" line from Happy Gilmore, great job!
Syncronos - July 28, 2015 - Report this comment
I love how you worked around the n word with swigger. Nice work, sir!

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