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Song Parodies -> "Edward Cullen"

Original Song Title:

"Heartless"

Original Performer:

Kanye West

Parody Song Title:

"Edward Cullen"

Parody Written by:

Mr. Washable

The Lyrics

This song features my friend D-Mayne
In Twilight, this guy I know
The palest skin you ever saw
All the girls still want him though
And now you know, I wanna be like Edward Cullen
I wanna be Edward Cullen
Wish I could be Edward Cullen

Wish I could be Cul-len
Wish that I could get all the girls, yo
Didn’t have to breathe, didn’t have to eat food
And of course I want to read everybodys thoughts
I wanna sparkle in the light, and drive a Volvo
And honestly I wanna play the Piano
Although it would suck to never turn 18
Cause I know pedophiles will try to rape me
I wanna say that Dracula is my homie
Be a Vegetarian even though I eat meat
Wanna say that Carlisle is my daddy
That’s such an awesome name, they’ll all be jealous of me

[Chorus]

Wish I could be in, Dr. Cullen’s
Family and the Olympic Coven
Then Edward can, be my brethren
And he can tell me how to be more like him
Jasper and Emmett are so cool also
And Alice is like Katy Perry Hot N’ Cold
Don’t wanna be near Rosalie, though
Cause I have a thing about being around a-holes
I’d run and tell Edward to leave Bella, please
It’s obvious she would much rather be with me
And if he says no, then I’ll have to agree
Cause honestly, he could beat the crap outta me

[Chorus]

Walkin, walkin, walkins dumb
Wish I could do the Edward run
Then I would be real quick too
And I could get home in time for Scooby Doo
If I was Edward, I would be
1,000,000 times hotter then he could ever be
And James would be afraid of me
I would live happily
If I could read peoples thoughts
I wanna have Edwards life
I wanna graduate a thousand times

[Chorus]

Cullen~
youtube.com/ImReallyWhiteYo

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 87

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 1
 1
 
 2   6
 2
 1
 
 3   8
 5
 3
 
 4   21
 4
 9
 
 5   49
 75
 73
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Crummy book, hilarious parody.
poopieface (maria) - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
LMAO THIS MAKES ME POOP REALLY HARD
Han Jovi - February 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Yo! Your amazing Mr. Washable!
blahhh - May 02, 2009 - Report this comment
lol i like the song heartless but i love this song even more!!! twilight books and movies rock! :)
ujjwal - May 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Lol. i totally love this parody!! the book is good.the movie is better.but this is the BEST!!
Hibasigo - June 10, 2009 - Report this comment
OME! :----D I luv that song, I downloaded it in my mp3.. n___n ♥
Anna - June 16, 2009 - Report this comment
OMG XD thats hilarious!!!!!!!!!!! ahahahahahahahaha i love THIS!
Cody Slusher - September 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I like your parody. LOL.
2la Blodgett - September 22, 2009 - Report this comment
wow i found this song by mistake but this song is really funny!
sarah - November 21, 2009 - Report this comment
love this song i had it on last night when i was comin home from new moon in da taxi
sharrrie - November 22, 2009 - Report this comment
ahaha i hate the original song but this is funnny. love the books and the movie and edward cullenn
rachael - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
i lafed so hard on the scooby doo part haaahhhh
mrs.cullen - December 20, 2009 - Report this comment
i love this parody except the part that says i could be 1,000,0000 times hotter than him no one can i love him so much
Tasiatxy - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
this isz so frikkin funny i watched that video lik3 4 times its so beeest
Renesmee babe - June 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Omg!!! I love Twilight! I love the Movies! I love Edward Cullen and Jacob black! And I love this song!! Hilarious! Lol my friends and I loving it!
Cullen - January 03, 2011 - Report this comment
For anyone wondering, Mr. Washable aka Kle Shay is still making music. He's at YouTube.com/ImKleShayYo. He's supposedly making a new Twilight song for the Breaking Dawn release. :)

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