Watching TV while I'm broken-hearted
When years ago, my wife departed
Was taken right from me without a place in the ground
You prob'ly heard my voice when I shouted out loud:

"It's my wife! She's on Survivor"
I never thought that I would find her
I'm just so surprised that she's alive
(It's my wife)
My heart had been so badly broken
Jeff Probst just said "The tribe has spoken"
I'm just so surprised that she's alive...
It's my wife!

Went outside my house and looked around
Nothing but clear skies; nice and warm ground
Tomorrow's getting hotter than yesterday
Looking down the sidewalk and I hear myself say:

"It's my bike!" And it's off and rollin'
I think my wheels have just been stolen
I just wanna catch the crazy guy
(It's my bike) I really wanna catch him badly
Like Rachel on the "Friends" finale
I just wanna catch the crazy guy
'Cuz It's my bike...

Went into the kitchen started looking around
To bake a cake, guess what I just found:

It's my knife! And it's in the cupboard!
But knives they don't go in the cupboard!
They go in the drawer with all the knives
(It's my knife) Who unloaded the damn dishwasher?
I thought I told my son and daughter
They go in the drawer with all the knives

That's my life! And it's bad as ever
The madness it will not stop, never
I just wanna go to bed and die
(It's my life) It's harder than an airplane highway
To make it worse it's still not Friday
I just wanna go to bed and die...
But it's my life!