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Song Parodies -> "Your Mommy Screws The Fed-Ex Man"

Original Song Title:

"Your Body is a Wonderland"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

John Mayer

Parody Song Title:

"Your Mommy Screws The Fed-Ex Man"

Parody Written by:

Jared Lerner

The Lyrics

This is probably happening right next store...
You're off, watching cartoons,
Dad stays out drinking booze,
Mom says she's wiping shoes,
But she fooled me,
She fooled your ass too.

One mile an hour his truck goes...
He's at your house again,
Slick pair of cargo shorts and,
His Botox™-drawn smile...

...gives her a package,
She takes it,
He thinks she's turned on,
She fakes it,
Delivery's on time,
He made it,
I'm sorry kid, but once in a while...

Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man,
Your mommy uses Fed-Ex...
(His name is Dan)
Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man.

Wonder how the smile gets on,
your mother's face?
I hate to say it, but she wasn't
watching Will and Grace.
You'd think you would have known...and
She knows your dad would mind it,
But she shows her off bare, derriere,
And Dan's hand gets behind it.

She wants love,
She'll make it,
Give her two seconds,
She's naked...
This time it's Fed-Ex,
She'll take 'em,
(UPS can't go that extra mile)...so,

Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man,
Your mommy uses Fed-Ex...
(They're in demand)
Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man.

Oh Davey,
I'm so sorry,
I know you're nine, just nine, just nine...
And your mother likes to whore sometimes....

[weird pause for music]

Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man,
Your mommy uses Fed-Ex...
(Her favorite brand)
Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man.
Your mommy screws the Fed-Ex man.

Duh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh nuh...
Duh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh nuh...
Duh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh nuh...
Duh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh nuh...
Incapacitating, invigorating, hallucinating AND emancipating -----> PotatoLand

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Billy Florio - August 26, 2003 - Report this comment
OMG, this is hillarious! perfect score!
Junior - August 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Frickin' AMAZING. You have a talent here, buddy.
the muffin - August 26, 2003 - Report this comment
i had a bad day today, a stressful one, this song just made me smile. i love it. beautiful.
Tinkleheimer - August 26, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked trademarked Botox
Jared Lerner - August 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Heh, glad everyone likes it
lebeiw15 - August 28, 2003 - Report this comment
That was pretty sick dude, but I loved it :) GREAT job! All 5s.
Mikey F - August 29, 2003 - Report this comment
lol...good job Jared.
Wild Man - August 29, 2003 - Report this comment
"UPS can't go that extra mile" LOL
Jared (The Other One) - August 30, 2003 - Report this comment
This was pretty good, He Who Shares My Name. Looks like the Jared War is on...I'll beat you yet!
Thrawn - September 01, 2003 - Report this comment
I loved this. I thought my "Saddam's Palace is a Wasteland" parody was good, but I now concede defeat to you. Great job!
Spaff.com - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
I've wanted to parody this song, but no more. You've done the definitive version. Beautiful.
Jayemel - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Definitely the best parody I've seen on this site so far. Peace, Jay
Kim - May 14, 2004 - Report this comment
HILARIOUS. :D
Anne Marie - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Thats a hilarious parody. Keep up the good work. :)

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