I can't wait 'til elevenses
A pint of beer and a slice of cheese
I would get on my knees
Just for my steak and peas

But when I go to sleep
All that I've digested fades away
I dream of Lil Bo Peep
And all her nice plump sheep

As I'm thinking about it
I almost forgotten dinnertime
Rosemary and thyme, Bon Appetit

I could eat horses now
I consume anything, really
I know that my life could end before I get to chow
With nothing but my stomach turned on
With that and the 'Coco Pops' ad
What a lovely cow, so
Bon Appetit!

What's the deal with these deer meat pies?
They're just as good as my steak and fries
Eating deer to economise
Deer's kidneys, hearts and eyes

Maccas, Red Rooster, BK
Making people like me eat all day
'Our country's fat,' they say,
'Second to the USA...'

As I'm thinking about it
I'd never forget to break my fast
Till noon it'll last, Bon Appetit

I could eat horses now
I consume anything, really
I know that my life could end before I get to chow
With nothing but my stomach turned on
With that and the 'Coco Pops' ad
What a lovely cow, so
Bon Appetit!

Honey, bake me a big cake please
I'll promise to stay home all day
I promise I'll even say...
Bon Appetit!

ALTERNATIVE

I love my sweets, I love my savoury
I love my cold, my hot
I love this alt. a lot...
Bon Appetit!

How could I be so small?
How could I live at all? Tell me
Do I ever really refuse the call?
At 29 I'm 4 feet tall...
The last chorus was not so dull...
I'm a Took after all, so
Bon Appetit!