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Song Parodies -> "My Glove Don't Catch A Thing (The Chuck Knoblauch Song)"

Original Song Title:

"My Love Don't Cost A Thing"

Original Performer:

Jennifer Lopez

Parody Song Title:

"My Glove Don't Catch A Thing (The Chuck Knoblauch Song)"

Parody Written by:

Jared Lerner

The Lyrics

Here's to you Chuckie!
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing

When the Yankees signed me to a deal,
They thought that they were getting a steal
Until they saw me play 2nd Base
Overextending my arm, nailing guys in the face
Saw Steinbrenner later in his suite
Raising up a storm, that really was no treat
And his breath smells bad
Thought he was really whack
Can't the man afford to buy a frickin tic tac?

All that matter's is
I get my paycheck
I'll keep throwing in the stands
And hitting old folks WHOOOOOOO

You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing

When I was a Twin,
I won a Gold Glove,
Now all I can do, is pray up above,
Looks like I'm on drugs whenever I play,
But here everyone is, Bob just had some yesterday.
It's a side of me I don't want to see,
Where I learned to play, is a mystery.
If it doesn't change, I might have to go,
I just hit somebody's Mom
GOTTA RUN YO............

All that matter's is
I get my paycheck
I'll keep throwing in the stands
And hitting old folks WHOOOOOOO

You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing

Can't throw......... can't throw.........can't throw...........
Shit, shit, shit
Tino could stop the throws that I make,
But he had to use a damn rake.
"Throw the damn ball to first base!"
Then I can win some fans, and get cheers from the stands
I need some time in Triple A,
To show them that I ain't so bad
Cuz all I do is make them mad.
Then I can win some fans, and get cheers from the stands

You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing

You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing

You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing.........
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   6
 5
 5
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - January 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Knobby's on-field performance wasn't pretty, but how do you expect a man to properly throw a baseball with four World Series rings on his hand? (One in Minnesota, three in New York.) I could have killed him after that goof against Cleveland in the '98 ALCS, but all was quickly forgiven. It's not like he's Dick Stuart, a.k.a. "Stonefingers" and later "Doctor Strange-glove," may he rest in peace, and even Stuart helped Pittsburgh win the Series in '60. Still, good parody.
Mike (Mike Armstrong) - January 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Gotta respect a funny sports parody. I gave it straight 4s. Good job.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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