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Song Parodies -> "31 Flavors"

Original Song Title:

"99 Problems"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jay-Z

Parody Song Title:

"31 Flavors"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

If you really want ice cream, I could give you some
They've got 31 flavors, I've had every one

They keep makin' more, and I'm takin' more
Keep making flavors that I will adore
Can't have just one, I need about four
Please don't give me chocolate, I'll take some Rocky Road
I grew up eating out of waffle cones
I go over there every time I have some dough
I'm like 'hurry up, make it fast, don't make it slow'
Could you please give me a scoop of that strawberry swirl?
Don't have pistachio. What is it? I don't know.
Take mint chocolate chip- maybe peanut butter, YO!
I ask, "Just what is that Splish Splash?"
I'm just wondering if it's worth of my cash, sucker
I don't care what Dairy Queen has
Cause I just want the ice cream Baskin Robbins has
Put them all on a cone, come on give me some
They got 31 flavors, I've had every one- give me

31 flavors I've had every one
If you really want ice cream, I could give you some
They got 31 flavors, I've had every one- give me

The year is 04', I order a small
I give her my money, and then I was off the wall
Got two choices y'all, eat the cone real fast or (mmm)
save some for later, so that I could have some more
And it doesn't really matter which decision that I make
Cause I know either way, how this things gonna taste
So I, start slow with my ice cream cone
Man, this is so good, I think I need 6 more
So I finish it up and to the counter I go
"Do you know what flavor you'd like sir?" "I don't know
Give me a second, let me think some more;
If you could give me 25, then I'll ask for more-
Chocolate and French Vanilla, and I'll be out the door"
and it was a pain in the rear just to get this cone inside my car
I give the first scoop a lick, then it all starts to tip
And it sucks as the whole thing just leaves my grip
Now my glove compartment is wrecked, and the clothes on my back
All over my seats, this whole situation is whack
This whole thing may look bad, so I get out
and ask for something, somebody please give me something
I asked for another cone, yea- I asked for it
I got one, she felt sorry for me a bit
And I told myself, "Something good this way comes"
They've got 31 flavors, I've had every one- give me

31 flavors I've had every one
If you really want ice cream, I could give you some
They got 31 flavors, I've had every one- give me

31 flavors I've had every one
If you really want ice cream, I could give you some
They got 31 flavors, I've had every one- give me
Now once upon a time, not too long ago
The year was 07', three years after 04'
I needed some ice cream, cause I was real hungry
So I go to Baskin Robbins, just to see if they'd feed me
So I order a cone, won't take no more
What a bore, the cashier just couldn't ignore
And he's all like, "Hey, you are that guy right?
Who dropped his cone all over the place right?"
And then the next thing that happens is he starts his laughing and
I'm known as the guy who was asking for a napkin
And I say stop, but he starts his laughing again
He points to the wall and he starts showing a grin
Look to the left, where my face has been
Underneath a sign: World's Biggest Idiot
"Tell me how long that sign has been,
up there." That is what I'm askin'
He's laughing too hard, not answerin'
"Ok, I'll tell you exactly how long it's been"
When he tells me, a shocked look comes on my face
It's been 31 months since it's been in that place- come on!

31 flavors I've had every one
But I don't want no more ice cream, cause they think I'm dumb
They got 31 flavors, I've had every one- give me

31 months of their laughing fun
I don't want no more ice cream, cause they think I'm dumb
It's been 31 months of their laughing fun

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 0
 
 5   3
 4
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Blaydeman - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
(HHS) Are you sure they don't have 555's flavors? Great Job Abbott! This song is a hard song to pace and I think you did a great job with it, and you kept the funny. Nice work!
Below Average Dave - January 20, 2011 - Report this comment
I almost forget i was reading this to a rap parody. . .this isn't just good pacing Abbott, this pacing is flawless. I followed it just as easily I would an I Kissed a Girl parody, of course it helps I heard this song a million time when it was new. . .Good idea, reminds me of my own Ice Cream Addict--ice cream is a fun topic. Fantastic job Abbott!!!
Matthias - January 26, 2011 - Report this comment
Extremely impressive Abbott. Like Dave said this has to be one of the best paced rap song I've seen in like forever! Way to go!
bobpiecheese - January 28, 2011 - Report this comment
(HHS) Flawless pacing? I don't know, to me the pacing seemed to be a few syllables off every few lines...maybe it's the way it was written, I don't know. What I do know is that this parody felt kinda clunky, nothing really seems to happen. Not your best, Abbott.
EthanM - January 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Sad to say I gotta agree with bobpie/conqueror on this one. It's a great concept but I had trouble following it at times and there seems to be mostly filler. It's a good effort but unfortunately falls a bit short.

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