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Song Parodies -> "They're Edible"

Original Song Title:

"You're Beautiful"

Original Performer:

James Blunt

Parody Song Title:

"They're Edible"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

The lyrics in parentheses would be sung by my wife, Nicole.

I am a stallion

"Night life is stagnant
And growing cold
He needed help there"
(or so I'm told)
I bought undies at the bookstore
And showed 'em to my sweet wife
She said "Oh hell no! - sleep in *that*?"
Please, give them a try

They're edible!
"They're edible?"
They're edible, and blue!
With fringe and lace
And she says "okay!"
But I don't know 'bout this 'food'
Is it meant to be consumed?

Still, she put it on
The sugary thong
I could tell by her face that it would
Not be long
Until we start that fire - gasping for air
From one pair of frilly feminine underwear

That's edible!
Delectable on you!
None goes to waste
'cause I love the taste
And I know just what to do
I'll continue eating through

"ooh ooh ooh ooh! ...."

So edible!
"They're edible!"
So suitable as food!
And I left me an angel
With a smile on her face
Then I got up; I was one sticky dude!

Did that session change her tune?
"No, it ended all too soon"
copyright 2006+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Offender - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Or, as Bowser and Blue would say:

Well, the moral of this story, like a jewel it is gleamin'
But you won't find it in a glass of warm...
Milk or tea, 'cause it will not fit,
And you probably already think I am full of...
Vague innuendos, and double-meanin' rhymes,
But I'll tell you that obscenity is all in your...

Polka-dot undies!
Your polka-dot undies!
Yeah, your edible undies!
Your polka-dot undies!

This "hit" single of Blunt's, by the way, does a lot the same thing to me that "Horse With No Name" does to you. I'm hoping Mr. One-hit-blunder's "music" quickly fades away. At least it's good fodder for a parody, though, huh?
Johnny D - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Now THAT's whatcha call tearing off a good one!
Matthias - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Ahhh... The ode the the incrediable, edible thong!!!!
John Barry - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
I'll have mine in the breakfast nooky. 555
Stephen Harrington - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
5s, dude, 5s.
Anny - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
That's a great parody :D Nice visual, hehe! 555 all the way! :D
Michael Pacholek - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
So you've got an Edible Complex, huh? Though the song was delicious, I find the topic a little hard to swallow. You may have bitten off more than you can chew.
Red Ant - June 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Offender, Johnny D, Matthias, John B, Step-chan, Anny, and Michael P.

Offender: Indeed, this song is good parody fodder. I really can't stand it, and should Nicole and I record this I will make every effort to make sure that I don't sound like James Blunt.
Michael Pacholek - June 08, 2006 - Report this comment
I just saw a picture of James Blunt and Petra Nemcova together in the New York Post's "Page Six" feature -- naturally, in the Post's tradition of journalistic excellence, it was on Page 11. I guess she's over the loss of her boyfriend in the Christmas '04 tsunami. But if he starts singing to her, she may wish they were together again. - June 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Bookstores must be different in your neighborhood. "It ended all too soon" - heh heh.

FYI, I recently wrote "You're Edible" and even used "incredible" as one of the subs. Great mimes stink alike.
Red Ant - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Belated thanks, Spaff. Bookstores have changed quite a bit in the last ten years here; a few of them now sell things that would put the average XXX store to shame.
Jack Wilson - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
This is aweosme! 555

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