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Song Parodies -> "This Country Ain't Garth"

Original Song Title:

"These Colours Don't Run"

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"This Country Ain't Garth"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

This parody--my 96th on Amiright and fifth of Iron Maiden--is a prequel of sorts to "Taylor Swift Is Not Country." Before Swift, there was Garth Brooks, who (like Swift in the past few years) did his part to corrupt the great American music in the 1990s. As a result, many purists moved out of Nashville and to Texas, such as Willie Nelson. I have never lived in Nashville; and from what I've heard, I have no intention to move there in the foreseeable future. Had this parody been written two decades ago, Nelson might have sung it to himself concerning corruption in the Nashville Sound due to Brooks' popularity. This is for all REAL country artists.
Stanza I.
An Oklahoman came to Nashville;
'89 was the year.
He wiped out the artists
Who had worked hard for their fame.
Half a dozen albums ensued,
Earning diamond honours.
Soon, old Willie Nelson
Wanted out of Nashville's games.
Country music was corrupted;
Real artists were disrupted.
Whole careers were interrupted
Causing Texans to all sing:

Refrain.
Far away from the old Music City,
We'll make an anthem out of our ditty.
All hail George Strait, Willie Nelson and more;
This country ain't Garth 'cos his music's a bore!

Stanza II.
Is there nothing to save Nashville
From Garth's carnage there?
Some are wond'ring if repairing
Will take years and years.
In the meantime, more corruption
Seeps through cracks he left.
The Dixie Chicks and Tim McGraw
Leave country all bereft
Of what's sane and what is rightful
Due to Garth's reign that was frightful.
Down in Texas, Larry Cordle
Wrote a hymn against the trends.

Refrain.
He wrote of murder on Music Row,
Of how the scene had been made to lay low.;
But Texans can take pride in all their songs;
Their country ain't Garth; now avenged be his wrongs!

(Instrumental)

Refrain.
In a honkytonk starts a revolt
'Gainst Music Row and the power that it holds.
Let's join with the rebels and share their cause;
Our country ain't Garth 'cos it sure makes you pause.
O! the weapons we use aren't for war,
But steel guitars, violins heard some more
And twangs that come from the hollers and such;
Our country ain't Garth 'cos we've had far too much,
Our country ain't Garth 'cos we've had far too much!
Up the Irons from Minnesota, which does have a happening country scene independent of Nashville's caprices.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - January 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Good to see country oriented parodies, here...I'm pretty much a die-hard classic country person, myself...although I do like some stuff Garth has done, too...such as, "If Tomorrow Never Comes", "The Dance" , and a few others. It boils down to a situation like the gov. arena..Dems and Repubs...there ought to be room for everybody...you've penned an interesting sketch with your parody..five lassos to the post
Porfle Popnecker - January 25, 2012 - Report this comment
This is music to my anti-Garth ears.
Andria - January 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Great work as usual, Edward. I like Garth Brooks (and Kenny Chesney, etc.) for what they truly are, in other words, good to decent POP artists, not country, but calling them country gets on my nerves. Again, listen to Hank Williams III, Wayne Hancock or Shooter Jennings, among other relative unknowns, and quite a few of the Canadian artists getting no airplay in the US, for REAL country. 5s.

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