I'm not an alcoholic
I just enjoy a drink or twelve each day
A highball or Tom Collins
Or maybe just a jug of Tanqueray
Martinis or a bottle of bordeaux
So I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To sing loud and out of key
A reason to shout out my views
And the reason is booze

I was a bottle baby
A habit that I haven't broken yet
But if you ever survey me
You'll find the bottle's filled with anisette
Or maybe one of several types of beer
That's why I'm full of good cheer

I've found a reason for me
To act like a chimpanzee
A reason to pee on my shoes
And the reason is booze
And I'll never refuse
When you offer me booze
Pardon me while I snooze

I'm not an alcoholic
Although I spend my leisure time in bars
And dream of fizzes made with gin that's sloe
That's why I want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To streak down a busy street
A reason to get Kiss tattoos
And the reason is booze

I've found a reason to show
That I'm a disco dynamo
A reason to cheer for Tom Cruise
And the reason is booze