She gives small tests my wife is deranged
“Do gray hairs make me older?”
It’s my lament I can’t please my mate
When I answer truthfully

Questions she keeps asking
“Does this dress show off my rolls?”
“Should I stop sun basking?”
“Like my casserole?”

Lie!
When I tell the truth it’s on the couch I’ll stay
“You’re no swine!”
“The guys at work say that I’ve got a trophy wife”
“I like your pie it tastes sublime”
(Time to lie)

“Leg’s aren’t furry” “Love the gloves you knit”
“A large brain, skull’s not hollow”
Tell her nice things, although it’s bullsh*t
“Your pork roast I can swallow”

Don’t think it’s appalling
I can watch footballers score the goal
While you’re stuck dry walling
In her control

Lie!
Open up your mouth and ask her if she’s lost some weight
She’ll serve wine
“You should give some lessons, you’re great at the fife”
“To look that nice should be a crime”
(Time to lie)

Just grabbed my rod and left to go
Fishing down at the lake
Say some crap to make her gush
And you can go hunting with your shotgun shells

Once was torment now that all has changed
I’ve become a huge liar
“I love your scent” and “Your hair looks great”
“You turn the heads of gays”

Lie!
I can race Go-Karts and there’s nothing she will say
It’s divine!
This gullible girl I claim as my wife
“You make me sigh”
Lie!
She won’t complain when I go out to golf with the guys
“You look so fine, I need to cry”
(Time to lie)

Once was honest now that all has changed…