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Song Parodies -> "Dumb Teens (Fans vs. Fans)"

Original Song Title:

"Come Clean"

Original Performer:

Hilary Duff

Parody Song Title:

"Dumb Teens (Fans vs. Fans)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Firstly, this is my 25th parody! How awesome is that? Next, I think I should mention that the whole Hilary Duff vs. Avril Lavigne deal is getting out of hand. Preadolescent girls screaming at each other are not going to change the world - or even a mind. Personally, I do not like either singer, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lock my CAPS key and WTF my way into someone's neck. With that in mind, I give you "Dumb Teens". *Plus! Cameos of Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne!*
Hilary Fans:
Let's talk smack
Smack 'bout Avril Lavigne
Sack her fans, her songs, in this thread on AmIRight

Avril Fans:
You jerk, twit! Hilary's not perfect
Trying to be a Spears when she's a "duffer" in disguise
She should die!

Hilary Fans:
Av's a brainless clown
And Duff's supreme!

Avril Fans:
Duff's a slosh obsessed
With vanity!

Hilary Fans:
And we laugh when Avril blunders
On live TV

Avril Fans:
Wish the rain would drown
That hated teen, that hated teen

That would be a pleaser
Trying to find her brain full of fluff
Why not? We're in!

Hilary Fans:
We'd pay cents
To dump her in cement
Our lives would all be better
If she was stuck within
Let's begin!

Avril Fans:
Let the sword fall down
On Hilary!

Hilary Fans:
Now the dump truck's here
We gotta see!

Avril Fans:
'Cause we wanna pull her under
And hear her scream!

Hilary Fans:
Let the pavement fall
On poor Lavigne!

Avril Lavigne (to Hilary):
Let's intervene!

Hilary Duff:
Don't be mean, y'all.

Avril Lavigne:
That was painful.

Hilary Duff:
Too much caffeine...?

Hilary Fans (now more riled up than ever):
Let us chain her down!

Avril Fans (ditto):
We'll squash her scene!

Hilary Fans:
Make her wash her hair!

Avril Fans:
Rip magazines!

Hilary Fans:
We're arguing over nothing - we've lost our mien

Avril Fans:
But the best part is, we're all thirteen...

Hilary Fans:
Should we pack?
Wait! I think we're winning...
Pretty pathetic for my 25th, huh?

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   2
 3   3
 4   5
 5   15

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TIbbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
OK, since you already know my position on Britney Spears, I can hopefully assume that you would know that I got great pleasure out of this one.....but then again, I'm easily amused.
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, TibbyGirl! I always know how to bring you pleasure.
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I love it. HAIL EMILOCA!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
5/5/5! You have perfectly described that post. People can like Hilary, Avril, or neither, but they shouldn't be harrassing people for their preferences in music. And to everyone who says Avril is a punk poser: She never said she was punk. If somebody isn't trying to be punk, how is that person a poser?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Seconding YWN (almost WTF) this so gives that lame post its come-uppance. However, I can see them commenting that you used Hilary's song so either secretly love her music or were secretly aiming the ridicule at her. The vicious cycle continues. Sorry, DKTOS so I won't vote until I do.
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Crap. I totally should have integrated the two songs into one disgusting hash! Maybe call it Sk8ome Clboien or something. If I must choose between the two, I would choose Avril Lavigne because she's a "poser" like me!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Or how about 'So Yestlicated'. Wait a minute.... That may be an actual word.
EmiLoca - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know about that might not make it through the censors. It looks dirty enough, doesn't it?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Sure does. It would be a gamble.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
There's some brilliant dictionary by Douglas Adams and some other guy that takes town names from all over the world and creates a dictionary with what they might mean. I suggest we all attempt to decipher what 'Yestlicated' would be in a dictionary.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
We really should find out what that word means. Then again, we might not want to know....
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
This is my take on it. Yes - a word of approval. Tickl - to irritate a nerve ending, causing loud shrieks of laughter and occasional whacks on the head. Silent "e". -ate - characterized by. Therefore, I conclude that "So Yestlicated" would be a song about a person who has recently approved of someone to tickle them. "Ticklish? It's time to go, then/In the car, you'll make me scream/We'll yestlicate!/Go yestlicate!/We'll have a laugh, oh ar-en't our actions gay?" *blinks* Yeah, that'll work.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Awesome. Now we know it isn't really a dirty, dirty word.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, someone who didn't know what "yestlicate" meant would take it the complete wrong way. I'm halfway convinced to actually write that one up! (Unless you want to, of course.)
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Or we could write it together. I've seen your e-mail address before, so I could send you an e-mail with my fractions, and you reply with your fractions. Heck, we could split it three ways by adding Luke. Whoever submits it could mention the definition in the top comments place. But will it be a combination of "So Yesterday" and "Complicated" or just one of them? If it has to be one of them, I would definitely choose "Complicated". "Why'd you have to go out and be so yesticlated. You know I am the only one who should tickle you, I really hate it..."
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh, good idea! Unfortunately, the email address you've seen before (if it's the one I have at the inthe00's board) is my sister's. For most of my online doings, I put her email address in, just because it's fun to see her freak out when she gets email from a random internet stranger. My real (aka most recent) email address is, fyi. But go ahead and email my sister! I'm sure she'll appreciate.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
No, I don't spend time on the message boards. I saw you give out an e-mail address on "Fear of God" by RAD and MAD. I'll e-mail you when I think of a few lines.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
HA HA HA!!! Just getting back on the computer, I saw that my sister's email was still up, and GUESS WHO SHE GOT AN EMAIL FROM? *points and laughs at Luke* I'm sorry I didn't call that minor little detail to your attention beforehand. However, I must congratulate you on thoroughly confusing her with your email, with the cheese and I'm going to go giggle in my corner...
Jake A Raalphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry, that was the last cheese I had. You'll have to get your sister to vomit it back up, possibly by Yestlicating her. I'm in on the 'threesome'. Mail me with which verse I should do of 'Complicated'.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok, but please stop calling it a threesome...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
What? A foursome?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I call it a group parody. I've already e-mailed EmiLoca the parody of the chorus to Complicated now. I'll need your e-mail address to fill you in, and so you can fill me in, until everyone explodes. If you don't want to put your e-mail address out on the Internet where all the perverts, murderers and such would find your address and eventually find you and throw you into a portal of impending doom, that's ok, I'll just let Emi tell me through e-mail. I feel the same way. That portal of impending doom is a tricky one.
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment . *waits for portal of impending doom*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I applaud you for your very subtle way of using his e-mail, EmiLoca. *looks around suspiciously* Good, no por-- GASP! They've got Luke! Nooooooooooooooooo! You can't do this! You don't understand.... He owes me money!
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, that's my sister's email that I use as a pseudo-filter for any unwanted internet communication. But Luke can use it too if he wishes - it has a "brat" it in. Tee hee...can't say much for the "piano" bit, though.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
The portal of impending doom says it will give Luke back as long as it is referred to from now on as "The Portal Formerly Known as The Portal of Impending Doom". BTW, I had no idea Emi's sister was a bratty piano.
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Bratty piano is an anagram for 'Pay Brattoni'. The tribe has spoken, Emi! My email is so send the chorus for the 'group parody' there. Oh! I can use the phrase 'groupies' now! *ducking demonic glare from Emi*
Creepy Narrator Guy - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Meanwhile, the three adventurers leave the poor innocent Tibbygirl out of thier conversation, causing her to wonder whether or not she has any friends. They have had moments together....but do the others give a *#@%? NO!! *gets handed a memo* Ahem, I mean, do the others give a hoot? No. She is alone on this board. All alone.
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Screw narration! I'm PUSHING my way in!
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*hops in a banana crate, which includes a bottle of rum that JARLB snuck in there, under Emi's nose* Alrighty!!! Let's get this party started....oh wait, they don't know I'm here. Ok, I'll just have a party with myself.
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Now that I think about it, that sounded SOOOO wrong. *has a blonde moment*
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
My email account is misbehaving, so I might not have those lyrics for a while. In the meantime, I think someone had bettter join TibbyGirl before she parties too hardy.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
It's only once you've clicked 'Submit Comments' that you look at what you've written and see some glaringly obvious grammatical error, typo or gross innuendo that you failed to notice whilst typing. You frantically rush to click 'STOP' but its all over, and by the time five minutes has passed you've forgotten to go back and correct it. So too bad, Tibygirl. Wait a minu-
Tibbygirl - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank Cheese I caught that one....I don't even want to know what would've happened if I didn't.
Cheese - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
You're welcome.
Shannon - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Made me as giddy as a little school girl...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 22, 2004 - Report this comment
FORGIVE ME! I DID THE 'SO YESTLICATED' SONG!!! Building on Emi's definition, it is allowing someone to scratch and itch that you cannot reach.
Sally - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
extra good
Leila Chan - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I like both girls, and this is the funniest thing EVER!! I am gonna teach this to my gutair player, Muriah! XD
Andrew Darwitan - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow! That's so cool!
InuOtome - September 22, 2005 - Report this comment
^_____________________________________^ Sweet.
bethany - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
avril wins
vote 4 avril - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
hilary is a... LOSER!
mari - October 21, 2005 - Report this comment
hillary should just go away...AVRIL WASHES HER HAIR MIND U!!! avril kicks more ass than hillary ever would!!!!!!!! but seriously if all the avril fans and all the hillary fans got toghthere and fought all the little 8 yearld old hilary fans would be but a mear existance in this world...o wait they allready r but dust cuz no one that matters gices a damn about them .....BURN!!! muahhaha...I'm srry maybe that was a bit too mean for hillary fans to handle...o wait that was mean but i'm not really srry
G30RG3 - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Not one of your best, yet it still amused me. Umm.. good job it still amused me, fours all the way through. You had a little trouble with your pacing at the beginning though.
Hilary H8tr - November 20, 2005 - Report this comment
First i think Hilary is a ugly slut poser
i luv avril - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
avril fans won totally!!!! HILARY DUFF SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xanadu - January 18, 2006 - Report this comment
that was pretty cool....
Lozza - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Great poem. Rock on, Avril. Peace out.
Melissa - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I think that the poess were ok, but I can't say anything rude cause I'm a fan of both artists, but I still like Hilary better.
leeandra - April 26, 2006 - Report this comment
AVRIL FANS OUT THERE YOU KNOW SHE ROCKS SO SHOW SO PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nathan Milliron - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Interesting take. This is the best of the HD parodies out there. PS: DO check out my parody called "throw up", based on a real 22yo girl cousin of mine attending college at a major university in the western United States.

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