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Song Parodies -> "My Griffin"

Original Song Title:

"Cupid's Chokehold"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gym Class Heroes

Parody Song Title:

"My Griffin"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

I wrote a parody of this song years ago, lost the lyrics, and eventually started rewriting based on memory in addition to brand new lyrics. I'd been stuck on one couplet for a while, but finally finished it tonight.
Take a look at my griffin
It’s the only one around
Gargantuan griffin
Greatest thing I’ve ever found

5000 miles on an airplane
I know it sounds kinda harebrained
Whatever, I’ll tell you where I’ve been
I faced and tamed a majestic griffin
What I did can sound risky
And stupid like a basilisk be-
Ing in in the same room, eye to eye
But it’s not like that so I am still alive
Last week I tunneled under old Greece
And thought of Jason and the Golden Fleece
If that sounds fun, then you don’t know what fun is
There was a rocky road with bats there
You should just assume I wasn’t that scared
And then I found what I set out to find way underground
Then won the boxing match in the first round

Take a look at my griffin
It’s the only one around
Gargantuan griffin
Greatest thing I’ve ever found

Take a look at my griffin
It’s the only one around
Gargantuan griffin
Greatest thing I’ve ever found

Five thousand mile long return flight
Airport tried to say I must turn right
Back and don’t even try leavin’ ‘cause no griffins on board
I said look it up since it’s not a rule I’m sure
And I’d hoped they’d give us three seats
But those guys didn’t want to please me
We did not get anywhere near the same page
They made me keep my pet inside a cage
I had enough fights for one day
So I let my griffin be stowed away
If that’s not sad then I don’t know what sad is
I had some trouble with customs
They were all like “griffins, we don’t trust ‘em.”
At least they let us through
I didn’t gloat
But I let out a woo-hoo
Since I have one more griffin than you
I do
It’s true

Take a look at my griffin
It’s the only one around
Gargantuan griffin
Greatest thing I’ve ever found

He’s got a beak that could make a card shark shriek
And give me back five hundred bucks (I’m in luck)
He’s got claws quite able to grasp straws
Or draw blood from your thigh (make you cry)
He’s got fluffy gold fur
He’s tough but he’ll purr
He’s got eagle eyes and two wings
Such useful things
He’s got the shrillest yell, it shatters glass
Also the merest tap from my pet’s talons (knocks you on the grass)
He never will perish, he’s immortal
And what I’m saying is the truth so ‘
Please, you should not chortle
Say he’s big, say he’s mean, say he’s weird
Or say that he’s so scary
But whatever you do
Don’t say that he’s imaginary

Take a look at my griffin
It’s the only one around
Gargantuan griffin
Greatest thing I’ve ever found

Take a look at my griffin
It’s the only one around
Gargantuan griffin
Greatest thing I’ve ever found

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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