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Song Parodies -> "I Hate Chemistry"

Original Song Title:

"Redneck Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gretchen Wilson

Parody Song Title:

"I Hate Chemistry"

Parody Written by:

Starlette Victory

The Lyrics

This song is dedicated to my chemistry teacher, who is bound-and-determined to turn me into a logical-thinking math-and-science type of person, which I am definitely not. All Honors Chemistry is, for those who haven't taken it, is Algebra with beakers, and in my case, asinine lab partners. The teacher, as nice as she is, doesn't understand that I am NOT interested in pursuing a scientific educational path and am only taking the class because it's required. For the uninformed, a TI-83 is a calculator...also known as the missing half of my brain.
Well, I aint never been the math/science type
Yeah, that Chemistry's a pain.
I'd rather write poems all night,
In my bedroom or my English class.
It's Geometry I hate.
I've got trophies on my wall but numbers aren't my fate.
Some teachers look down on me,
But I dont give a rip.
Someday I'll sit down at my own front desk,
At the Times and I'll be hip.

'Cause I'm a Word Smith Woman, I ain't no Physics broad.
I find math nauseating.
And I'd rather study law
An' I am good at essays even when they're really long .
And I'm the one who's writing all the anti-numbers songs.
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin it wordy.
Let me get a big "MATH SUCKS" from the right-brained chicks like me:
MATH SUCKS! (MATH SUCKS!)

Teachers like Ms. F. C., well they seem so nice.
Oh, but the material they teach, makes my brain cells turn to ice.
I'm still a smart kid, (smart kid)
Just as smart as, that math fan in front of me.
Who can do equations in her head, with no TI-83.
You might think I'm flaky, than I'm not gonna pass.
But when I win a Pulitzer, then you all can kiss my ass.

'Cause I'm a Word Smith Woman, I ain't no Physics broad.
I find math nauseating.
And I'd rather study law
An' I am good at essays even when they're really long .
And I'm the one who's writing all the anti-numbers songs.
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin it wordy.
Let me get a big "MATH SUCKS" from the right-brained chicks like me:
MATH SUCKS! (MATH SUCKS!)

'Cause I'm a Word Smith Woman, I ain't no Physics broad.
I find math nauseating.
And I'd rather study law
An' I am good at essays even when they're really long .
And I'm the one who's writing all the anti-numbers songs.
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin it wordy.
Let me get a big "MATH SUCKS" from the right-brained chicks like me:
MATH SUCKS! (MATH SUCKS!)
MATH SUCKS! (MATH SUCKS!)
MATH SUCKS! (MATH SUCKS!)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 44

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
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 2   5
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 1
 
 3   4
 3
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 4   8
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 5   20
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User Comments

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Arwen - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
So...this is kind of me...back in high school. I was all about English...I, too, dreamed of making my career as a writer...and I didn't care at all about math...(I did like science, a bit, I have to admit...thanks to my old friend Mr. Wizard!)...

What I want to know is...if you're not down with the math/science...how in the hell did you get into Honors Chemistry in the first place? You must be a science whiz without even trying...which is a little bit scary to me...; )
Starlette Victory - September 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, at my school you either take Honors and/or AP Everything or you quit..... we don't have anything else except for PE, which is pointless and everybody laughs about it and calls it "the sleep class."
Kristina - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
This is so sad. This was totally me in High school, but I got corrupted by some evil Physics and Math teachers in college who made it fun and now I'm ... *sob* ... a COMPUTER PROGRAMMER! I know. The shame of it. I mean, a nice English major like me, come to this. Fabulous parody, tho'! :-)
Totty - March 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Ha ha! This is funny!! I love it!! Even more so, as I'm studying both physics and chemistry as a dual honours degree ... :)
woo. - February 28, 2010 - Report this comment
oh man i love this. im with you right brained sister!
lol - January 19, 2011 - Report this comment
this is really good!! doing chem right now and i hate it too...but just so you know language, verbal, and auditory processing skills are all mostly found on the left side of the brain. In fact mostly everything except imagination, visual and spacial skills and facial perception are located in the left hemisphere. Never leave your house without your left hemisphere! (psychology joke)

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