Well I’ve been pressured
Been-a-stereo-typed
Oh, why use wigs to beat the pain?
I'd rather just prove them right
I’m a ranga
And I’m a fire crotch
And I’m a whore-fiend-snide-pale-mate
I’ll admit that I’m enthralled with freckled, ginger hate

So, people joke about me?
Well I hope they’re equipped
My bad hair bitchin’ makes me go Balrog
So avoid my on-fire whip!

Cause I'm a red – haired – woman
I ain't no light – brass – blonde
I'm just as scarlet and abrasive
As a scraped up rash wreaked raw
And I paint my skin with white-out while my blowtorch hair flames on
And I will not be “foiled” by any bitch at some salon!
So here's to all my gingers out there, shrieking and rud-dy
Tell me God, where did you get all these red haired girls like me?
HELL YEAH!
(Hell? Yeah.)

eHarmony meetings
(Yeah, that’s one neat site)
Oh, those guys surprise so easily
Cause my pic’s in black and white
They think I’m vexing
Yes, they exit
Guess my hair’s like HIV
No sum of “great personality” could make a man want me

Poolside, when I’m splashing
I’ve heard I’m quite eye sore
My SPF’s eighty-some
But trust me, girl, I’m flo-rid

I'm a red – haired – woman
Like that McGuy – clown – Ron
I’m like an mermaid orphan Spice Girl
Who gets (thank god) killed by Bond
And I’ve even driven lice out, cause they run from blood-red locks
And red toe hairs stick out from holes in my new fox-fur Crocs
So cheers to guys who stiff us, fearing ginger progeny
Let’s all drink to big red hair bein’a rare com-mo-di-ty!
Hell Yeah!
(HELL. YEAH.)

[Carrot Top performs stand-up during already painful musical interlude]

I'm a red – haired – woman
So I ignite – most – brawls
And I’m the object that gets hazed
When I say, “HEY, I’M LUCILLE BAWWWWWWWWLL”
Cause I’m freakin’ bright vermilion, freckles fifteen thousand strong
And I've as many burns as there are crabs in Lohan's thong
So when I fin’lly blister out and greet the Lord J.C.
Send me to a gig, in death, full of redhead girrrrrrrrls like me!
(Hell, Yeah?)
HELL YEAH!
(Well, Yeah!)
HELL YEAH!
(Hell Yeah!)

Red Head Hell, yeah!