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Song Parodies -> "Shopping Cart of Pork and Beans"

Original Song Title:

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

Original Performer:

Green Day

Parody Song Title:

"Shopping Cart of Pork and Beans"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

I'm stuck in smelly clothes
Because the town shut off my H20
My apartment blows
There's no way to flush and things start to grow

I walk through Jubilee's
Load the shopping cart with pork and beans
I'm a pungent breeze
But I can't take a bath so I bought cologne

I bought cologne
I bought cologne

I bought cologne
(And vodka)

My doggy's
Only one who sleeps beside me
My soggy
Socks can really take a beating
Sometimes I
Hope to purge what died inside me
Till then I - wear cologne

Uh-ah - Blah-ah - Fwuh-ah - Maaa-ma!
Gbla-ah - Pwuh-ah - Ugh-gah!

My date shows up at nine
Way more hot than some I've met online
Me, I'm dressed up fine
No clean underwear - but hot cologne

She says Holy Swine
Turns and runs off screaming, deathly white
Like I'm Frankenstein
But I don't understand 'cause I've got cologne

I've got cologne
I've got cologne

I've got cologne
(And vodka)

My shadow's
Only one who'll walk behind me
My rat hole
Room has methane gas for breathing
Sometimes I
Wish these fleas refused to bite me
Till then I - wear cologne

Uh-ah - Pwuh-ah - Ugh-gah - Maaa-ma!
Fwuh-ah - Blah-ah!

I've got cologne
(And vodka)

[Solo. As in alone.]

I walk through Winn-Dix-ee's
Load the shopping cart with pork and beans
Smell like Munster cheese
But I can't take a bath so I bought co-

My schnauzer's
Only one who sleeps beside me
My trousers
Harbor some disease that's breeding
Sometimes I
Watch the neighbors picket-line me
Oh well I've - got cologne

[Solo. Again.]

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 40

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   10
 5   28

User Comments

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DKTOS? - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
For those who Don't Know The Original Song, it's currently available at
Jeff Reuben - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm so happy you wrote this...I heard the song on the radio the other day, thought of an idea, but forgot the name of the original song. So you helped me out. Don't know if I can match this though =)
Claude Prez - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Holy Swine. Great stuff, love the schnauzer/ trouser rhyme.
Agrimorfee - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
A wonderful character study, Spaffers. 555
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
A true story: In the middle of the 80s my sister was an exchange program student somewhere in Oregon for a year. She told me that one of the things that surprised her the most was that so many of the girls her age didnĀ't take a shower after athletic/gym class, they just changed back to their regular clothes and sprayed themselves with perfume, lots of perfume.
Jack Wilson - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL! 555! THis is awesome
Olvan The Terrible - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Yet another first-rate parody from Spaff. And I am a Green Day fan, so bonus points on the choice of TOS. - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, C4P & Aggro & Jackie & Olvan!
Jeffaroo: I went through an embarrassingly long list of title and "I walk alone" subs before settling on this one. So I'm doubly curious to see yours.
Peterchyd: Hey, don't destroy my 80s schoolboy fantasy of my classmates taking long, luxurious group showers.
Stuart McArthur - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
the actions of a typi-colognely guy - or destined to be one at least - DKTOS Spaff but a funny read - bummer of a job for your shadow - 555 - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Stuartiste. "Typicolognely guy" - heh heh.
Melhi - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Next time someone asks me why I built that shrine to you out of sticky things I found in your trash, I'm just going to point them to this parody. Phew! Hi Karate, eh? Ugh! (holding nose) Lub id, Spav -- fuddy, fuddy stub! - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Mel: Thanx, but if you knew what those sticky things were, you'd, um... never mind. Just see a doctor.
Spankie Elf - February 06, 2005 - Report this comment
My friend loves the book Because of Win-dixie when I show'd her this she was like freaking out.
Jeff Reuben - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
You get your wish, it's up today =)
2nz - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good, Spaff. I just finished mine, called "I Wok Alone" so I'm making the rounds. I missed a lot of quality work too. Fave lines: "My shadow's [o]nly one who'll walk behind me" and "Smell like Munster Cheese"
John Jenkins - February 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Spaff. A lot of good lines, and I, too, favored the shadow line. - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Spanked Elf & Jeffaroo (nice) & 2nz (I'll check it out) & Johnkins (that was ripped off from the OS).
fluffywhale - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Ooh i like this! fits in very well! - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx. Fluffy whales are my favorite kind.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I heard a parody of this song on Dr. Demento last night called "Cologne", and it was by the Dan Orr Project. I have to say, I am quite suspicious of them... Of course, I suppose that "I walk alone" could easily be misheard as, "I wear cologne", which could be used as inspiration for a parody. Who knows? - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx for the heads-up, YWN. Back in January when I set out to parody this OS, I thought "I wear cologne" was the clear choice for the "I walk alone" sub, so it doesn't surprise me that someone else has come up with the same idea. Still, I intend to sue their asses off.
Dayna - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I read your parady and that is hilarious! 555! The pacing was really good too! - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Dayna. Pacing - yeah, I do a lot of that.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Just happened to have this song playing so thought I'd check out your parody at the same time. You've a dirty mind, Spafford! - November 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Two words, Luke: (1) Pot. (2) Kettle.
Jack Wilson - December 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Id lvoe to see this recorded
The Mixmaster - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Man, this was a good one. "I load the shopping cart with pork and beans, I'm a pungent breeze..." that was my favorite. 5s across the board. - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Belated thanx, Mixmaster! And Jackie: Sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to settle for either "I'm Karl Malone" or "I Blog Alone." Or both.
Rex - September 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Mmmmm... cologne and vodka. Two great tastes that go great together. Excellent as always, and I hope you get the shower fixed. - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Rex. They're also good for removing stains. Or creating them. (I forget which.)
Spoof-Man - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
2 questions Spaff... How dids I miss this and why isn't it recorded?! Awsome!! - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanx, Spoof-Man. I can't answer the first question, but as for your second: Apparently Robert thought two recorded parodies of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" was plenty. Did you ever hear "I Blog Alone"?
Spoof-Man - December 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes I did and I love it!! - December 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, S-M. It loves you too.
Joe - January 27, 2015 - Report this comment
To set the record straight, Dan Orr, of the Dan Orr Project, worked on a radio station in Columbus, OH when he recorded "I Wear Cologne" and first broadcast it on his Station's Morning Show. This happened in Late 2004/early 2005, very shortly after the original "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" was released as a single. I didn't air on Dr. Demento for a while afterward, so I'd say the two parodies are coincidence.

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