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Song Parodies -> "Mail Them All When The Rapture Comes"

Original Song Title:

"Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Original Performer:

Green Day

Parody Song Title:

"Mail Them All When The Rapture Comes"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics is a website where those Christians who believe they're going to be taken up in the Rapture can leave behind a message to all those poor dudes who won't be so lucky... Honestly, folks, there *are* some people who believe this stuff :-)

Written to this version of the OS
When Christ turns up, will you find
You're leaving all your friends behind?
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

They'll be sad when they're mailed from
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

Reward for our pa-ti-ence:
We'll go where it's nice
They'll have Tribula-shee-ens
Ruled by the antichrist

For a small, minimal cost
Safeguard what you don't want lost
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

For a forty-dollar fee
Send a post-rapture "tee hee"
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

Send out emails to say:
Too bad that you had to stay
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

When Jesus hits this place
Sure, he'll come on cue
You can ask him to his face:
What would Jesus do?

In our memory banks
Letters, thanks and "ha! ha! Wank..ers"
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

[Rapturous guitar solo]

We'll do it all on your behalf
Make sure you get *the* last laugh
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

And if you know an atheist
Make sure that they're on the list
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes
Mail 'em all when the rapture comes

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Phil's got 555 indulgences.
Jeff Reuben - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Lol, I enjoyed this one. Interesting idea...does that website really exist? One way to find out...
alvin - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
post rapture tee hee...lmao
McKludge - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
They should rename the website
Phil Alexander - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys :-)
Jeff - yes: I've even linked to it in my intro
Alvin - you've made me think I should have done a verse like this:
You can send to guys you know
A rapturous LMAO
Mail 'em all... etc.
McK - or maybe .con?
Guy - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Only one flaw in your logic here Phil - believers will not have time to email when the rapture comes. So I just keep a greeting card in my wallet that is addressed to "All you poor souls who were left behind" with a short note saying "Having a great time, bet you all wish you were here about now". This parody is a great write and I give you fives for it but that does not mean that I buy into it for even one second.
Project Sisyphus - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Clever idea for a parody—as a Christian, I don't find it hard to believe in the Rapture. I DO find it hard to believe that self-professed Christians, in the interest of making $40 per sucker, would invent such a horrible concept as this self-righteous and mean-spirited web business. Thanks for exposing it. 555 (hey, they'd probably give you 666).
Phil Alexander - June 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Guy - if you went to the website itself, you'd see that they've got a "dead mail" sort of concept: if three or four out of five of their chaps fail to log in for 24 hours, it triggers the emails. Have to admit I think they're being kind of presumptious...
Sisyphus - I have to admit, I didn't actually get the impression that the people running this are doing it for the money: there was a beautifully naive response from the guy being questioned.. IMO, he actually believes it. Can't deny the "self-righteous" bit, though :-)
Guy - June 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Phil - I did take a quick glance at it and I as well, thought it was a bit presumptious but probably for totally different reasons than you do. It should be their goal as Christians to wish that not a single person be left on the planet to receive such an email and not act as if they are better than other people if indeed the rapture does happen. The Bible tells us not to dwell on the hour or the day of the second coming and in that reference some Christians believe that it means rapture. The idea of not fretting over the hour or the day means to be ready quite simply. There very well could be a rapture but the Bible does not really dwell much on that. The message is to be ready to meet your maker because you could leave this planet in the next second. I think the site it is a bad idea and when you said you could ask Jesus what He would do, I think that says alot for I do not think that Jesus would submit an email to taunt or try to scare anyone into believing in Him. So I will do what I think Jesus would do and not pay a lot of attention to that site and for sure not leave an email. I really get where you are coming from with this. And I meant it when I said it was a fine write and it deservered every bit of the 5 vote that I gave you on it.
Phil Alexander - June 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guy :-)
Red Ant - June 20, 2008 - Report this comment
"Subscription Information:$40". Is that a literal or metaphorical 40$? ;-) Good work Phil.

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