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Song Parodies -> "Handstyles of the master baiters"

Original Song Title:

"Lifestyles of the rich and famous"

Original Performer:

Good Charlotte

Parody Song Title:

"Handstyles of the master baiters"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This is my first ever parody song about professional fishing, but I don't think I'll be hooked on and anchored to the subject, surfing their wet nets for words to use has taught me that the master baiters can be real jerks.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
One hand calligraphy
Won't make the magazine
Cod Fishermen Handjob Quarterly

And a twisted carp-al bone
Will wave a puffer home
Squiggle about, how hard eels can be

Don't wanna see their grip go limp
Wringing essays over shrimp
And I've Nature™ on my side

And they can't ink a ray review
Writing up some type o' jackfish stew
I think they'd crab the marginal
Farcical

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
They're jerky and shaking
From the abrading
Their writing is such a wobble
And there's just trouble
With hands God dealt them

When they've trawled for shamu-ses they can't clasp a knife
And there's stiff cold fingering upon their wifes
And chalked up they'd shake the pink, to pen a salmon

And I've been told that they've callus from the bursting clam
They slosh in oysters as they're down a dam
They can never use a pen, but spray cans or a seal

Don't wanna read the manuscript
Closet Lobster Masochist
Or their Fishnet Stockings Guide
I'd rather sit in underoos
Bottled up here under my canoe
With fingerpaint on an atoll
Tropical

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
They're jerky and shaking
From draft to write in
They don't shell-f down at the bookstore
But scribble seashores
With bad graffitying

(ARRR! THIS BE THE PART WHERE JAWS ARE SUPPOSED TO DROP
FROM A GUITARIST INDULGING IN SQUIDLIKE FINGERWORK - BUT ALAS,
THE MATEYS COULDN'T WRITE THAT SORT OF TUNA)

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
They're jerky and shaking
That is my weigh-in
They're stroking like blowing tightwads
And their blotting of whale squads
Should anger Neptune

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
Will shake out prose with hands on deck
I'll be abstaining

Handstyles of the master baiters
Handstyles of the master baiters
Handstyles of the master baiters

© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Max Power - August 25, 2017 - Report this comment
Hook, line, and sinker.
Peter Andersson - August 28, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks Max!

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