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Song Parodies -> "Sarah Palin vs. The Flobots"

Original Song Title:

"Handlebars"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Flobots

Parody Song Title:

"Sarah Palin vs. The Flobots"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

My fellow Americans: On behalf of the entire party, I urge you to hear Robert Lund's recording of this parody, featuring lead vocals by the lovely and talented Mercy Malick.
I can lead the world with no résumé
No résumé
No résumé
I can be VP with no expertise
No specialties
No grad degrees

Look at me! Look at me!
I'm Miss Congeniality
I finally got my first passport
And a cult of personality

I can show you how to whack a puck
I can show you how to sack librarians
I can shoot guns from a pickup truck
At arctic wolves and vegetarians

I can put lipstick on a pit bull
I can put lipstick on a hog
I can trot out my daughter Bristol
But don't mention her on your liberal blog

Yay! Jews for Jesus and Pentecostals!
I can body-check a hockey ref
Remember, boys, when you're feeling hostile
I'm a total V.P.I.L.F.!

I can take your mind off of Troopergate
Off of Troopergate
'Cause I'm super great
And you can build a bridge from Ketchikan
To Ketchikan
You betcha can!

Lucky me! Lucky me!
I stole the buzz from HRC
I just got off my ATV
And now I rule the RNC

I'm straight vanilla
Your flavor du jour
I'm Miss Wasilla
1984

I machine-gun the myth of evolution
With Amendment Two of the Constitution
The Arctic Refuge requires pollution
No man is an island but I'm Aleutian

I own the sea just like Poseidon
If you eat salmon my lead will widen
If anyone out there's still decidin'
Remember I'm hotter than Whatsisname Biden!

I can skin a moose with a table knife
With a table knife
But I'm a stable wife
And I can make a world with no democrats
No whiny brats
No commie rats

And I can Git-R-Done 'cause I'm anti-noise!
I'm anti-boys!
I'm anti-toys!
I'm anti-voice!
I'm anti-choice!
I'm anti-choice!

I can lead a state with no residents
No residents
No residents
I can lead a state with no residents
When Johnny dies
I'm President

(c) 2008+ Spaffbots

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 0
 0
 
 5   19
 22
 22
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Intresting choice of original song, I liked the recording, but never heard the OS. Has it been popular and I just never heard it or something? Anyways... This was a pretty great parody Spaff, I'm not big into the political stuff, but this was pretty great, let's see if this parody of yours will make the Amirights go wild with parodying this song, since after your "I Peed In The Pool" parody everybody wanted to parody that song.
Ethan Mawyer - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
I have heard the OS, and wanted to make a parody of it since it first dented the billboard charts a couple of months ago, but it's really hard to write anything remotely close to the cleverness of the original. This not only matches the cleverness but is much funnier. And the flobots would definitely approve this message. Only problem is - and I might be the only person to notice it here - is that the song has three verses and you skipped most of the third verse.
Abbott Skelding - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Very nice, I put a 4 for pacing because (and I noticed this with "I Peed in the Pool" too) that you cut a lot of the song out. But what you did parody what phenomenal...very good!!
Spaff.com - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Matthias: Thanks - and definitely go track down the original. The first time I heard it I wasn't paying attention and thought it was silly. The next time, I *listened* and it really grabbed me. Plus, there are some great rhymes buried in it, many of which I missed until I started working on the parody, e.g., "like 'em and" / "my command." Ethan and Abbott: Thanks for the compliments. Yeah, I didn't stick very closely to the structure of the original. I've written plenty of parodies where I made certain to match the original's scansion in every freaking line (like "Shakespearean Pie") but I'm just not that anal about it anymore. I'm now more into getting stuff recorded and (hopefully) on the radio, and that means working with vocalists who aren't intimately familiar with the original and DJs who won't consider playing a comedy piece much longer than two minutes. So I adjust.
Ethan - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
2 minutes? I don't think that most DJs are willing to play a parody that goes much over 60 seconds. Trying to get airplay is certainly an admirable goal, and ideally you would write a short version for maximum airplay and a long version for dr. demento/downloads, but that would be extremely time consuming and you've probably gotta use that time to make some money so you can continue living with access to a computer. And while I have your attention, I'd really like to see your opinion on my eiffel surprise parody that's been causing a bit of controversy in a contest i'm probably about to lose.
Spaff.com - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
You're right; getting a song recorded *once* is enough of a challenge. I'll look up your song tonight.
alvin - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
didn't know the OS so went straight for the recording....flat out brilliant...the queen of all the palin songs to come down the pike...wondrous rhymes abound
John Barry - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
My fave of the day.
LilBodyChecktress - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, loved the " Body-checked a Ref " line ! !
Odd Austin - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Absolutely amazing. Some great rhymes here. I'm so glad someone honored this songs with a parody. I know what you mean Spaff, when I first heard the Flobots original I thought it was kind of stupid from the first few lines, but once you really listen it's an amazing piece of lyrical work. Great job parodying it, love the "When Johnny dies, I'm president" line.
Agrimorfee - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for introducing this song to many folks, Spaff--for a first-time listen, it's like Cake on meth:). Well done work sir, though I am surprised at the shortened length--consider it the "Radio Edit" and extend it for the album, I suppose.
Spaff.com - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin & John & LilEverything & Austin & Aggro! This was one I wasn't sure we were going to be able to pull off, but I think Mercy did a lovely job of spitting out those rapid-fire lyrics while staying in character. Thanks again, all, for your comments!
Glen S - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Well skewered yourself, Spaff. How are things recently? I see you've still got your skillz well honed.
Farseer Lolotea - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Slam-dunk. Seriously.
EmiLoca - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Holy Mother of Trig. I'm speechless. Oh, right, teleprompter over THERE...
Dr Music - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Hillarious. Simply hillarious. AFW gave me this brilliant idea. Let's go to Canada, find a weremoose and get it to fang Sarah. Wait, i've got an even better one, let's go to, find a werejohncandy and get it to fang her- and let's see what happens. I happen to be a werejohncandy myself, I would be perfect for it. The weremoose and the werejohncandy are both native to Canada. And they both live in the forest. However we would have to find them on a full moon night though, weremoose are quite uncommon on most nights but it's easy to find them, werejohncandys are very common on most nights but they're very rare and elusive. So in order to catch one we would have to lure it over to us with food or something. They have unique ways of turning someone into one of their kind like most lycanthropes do- take the wereleno for instance- it rams it's large chin into you in order to turn you into one of their kind. The weremoose charges you, and the werejohncandy either bites, scratches, tackles or hugs you. We could get a werejohncandy but they're mostly tame, however they can get pretty vicious if they are provoked and are very very sensitive.
Jack Wilson - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
This is just plain effin HILARIOUS, especially since I just heard this on the XM Ethel station today earlier
Spoof-Man - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
It's not you Spaff, but this site has really gone down hill...I mean first of all, this site had, lots and lots of songs on Mel Gibson, then this site had lots and lots James Blunt rip-offs, now it's lots and lots of songs about Sara Palin....I mean hafe of these song I don't understand anyway! I'll say it agian this site has really gone down hill!!!
Dr Music - October 02, 2008 - Report this comment
You are right Spoof-Man, there are too many politic themed parodies these days. But compared to the numerous jabs Jay Leno made about the Clintons, these are only relatively harsh.
Spoof-Man - October 02, 2008 - Report this comment
your so right Dr. Music, with Jay Leno's jabs at the Clintons, these are only relatively harsh
cody Slusher - October 19, 2008 - Report this comment
I heard the same thing on youtube and thought it was crap
Spaff.com - October 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Belated thanx, Farseer & Dr Music!

Glenz: Things are recently lovely. You?

Emi: Did you see that behind-the-scenes report where it showed her teleprompter? It said not "nuclear" but "NEW-clear." Awesomeness.

Jackie: Thanx, man. Kinda wish more people knew the original.

Spoof-Man: Hmm... If what has caused this site to go downhill has been (1) Mel Gibson songs, (2) James Blunt parodies, and (3) Sarah Palin songs, then I'm guilty on all counts.

Cody: Thanks for reminding me to plug my YouTube channel, where you can find videos of this and many more of my parodies:
http://www.youtube.com/SPAFFdotCOM
Spoof-Man - November 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Yeah, you may be guilty on all counts but like O.J. Simpson...quilty or not you'll be set free of all charges
Spaff.com - December 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Then again, Spoof-Man, maybe not.
Bill - March 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Awful song
Spaff.com - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey there, Bill. I hear Bristol's back on the market. Hold me back.
dfree001 - January 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Guess I'm late to the party, but this is great! Really love the OS, the lyrics kind of trace the arc from youthfull bragadacio to world destruction. This version is hilarious, and still pertinent,
Spaff.com - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanx, dfree001. I look forward to her presidential campaign. Shloads of new material.

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