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Song Parodies -> "Fergie's Worthless"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Fergie's Worthless"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The worst song on the entire Epic 40 list... In my opinion utterly trashed.
(So lame it hurts, Ow!)

Turn it off please
It makes me sick
To hear the bad vocals
Of that dumb chick

Fergie’s worthless she’s so ruthless she makes my ears get so glum
It’s a disaster why would you cast her as the singer for your album?
The Black Eyed Peas said to please leave
I’m so sleazy, and I’m easy
I’m no singer, but a swinger
The pain in your ears will linger

Fergie’s Worthless (Should be workless)
When singing I’m so talentless
So how did I get famous?
Well, Just check out my anus
I’ll take disses (Blah!)
This song is noise and sucks, sucks
But it will make me tons of bucks so I don’t give a fuck
(So lame it hurts, Ow!)

Sounds so vicious (It hurts, hurts)
Shatters dishes (All your china fell apart, parts)
And your eye twitches (As her voice makes your brain rot)
It’s Fergalicious (Cra-cra-cra-crappy, Crappy)

Fergie’s worthless song
Fergie’s worthless song
Fergie’s worthless song (song, song, song, song, song…)

Fergie’s worthless song’s a big hit? Made the Billboard’s Top Three
The number one position?
C’mon people now that’s crazy! (So crazy!)
Worse than Gwen Steffani, or that drunken teen Lindsay
Cause no one else but Fergie sounds this bad to me

She’s Fergatrocious (So Atrocious)
I start to lose my focus
Her singing’s a plague just like a swarm of locusts
It’s the grossest (Peee-Ewww!)
I wish it could be block, blocked
Much worse than The B-52s Rock Lobster song though that sucks
(So lame it hurts, Ow!)

It’s hideous (Song rots, rots)
She’s malicious (You know this song sucks, sucks)
Sounds so vicious (I’m dressed up as a Girl Scout)
Fergalicious (Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up. Turn it off)

Fergie, Fergie, Fergie
Gal, You really bug me
Awful song for no damn reason
Her “London Bridge” was quite a waste
As is “Clumsy” dummy
Voice is so annoying
Not amazing, maybe
She will drive you crazy

C to the R to the APPE – girl sounds so crappy
A to the W to the FOOL – girl’s voice is awful
H to the I to the DEEEOUS
To the H to the O to the, to the, to the (Thank you Davey!)

Every party blasts it loud but I can’t get down
Because her lyrics make me frown hearing all this crap
I don’t wanna have a cow, so could you please switch this to Abba or Madonna
I think this song is so bad
And off my laptop this song will soon be deleted and my head keeps on beating into walls made of granite
But I still can’t tell why her albums still sell
Cause I think she’s…

Hell’va Big Mess (Such a big mess)
But my ears are under loads of stress
While critics think it’s a success
I would like to beg to different
I get pissed off (Argh!!!)
And now she’s getting mock, mocked
But it is not much of a shock that this slut I must knock
(Knock, knock, knock)

(So lame it hurts, Ow!)

I’m in love with the critics
Because over this song and that piece of crap “Glamorous”
They’re amorous (Love it!)
And she sounds so wrong, wrong
Which is why I hate this song it just goes on too long

(So lame it hurts, Ow!)

Hell’va Big Mess (Whine, whine, whine, whine)
So hideous (Cry, cry, cry, cry)
Sounds so vicious (Gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe)
It’s Fergalicious (Cra-cra-cra-cra-crappy, Crappy)
It’s repetitious (Whine, whine, whine, whine)
My ears get so stressed (Cry, cry, cry, cry)
On my Sh*t List (Gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe)
It’s Fergalicious (Shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shi)
(Shite, shite, shite, shite)

S to the H to the ITTI – girl your song’s shitty
C to the R to the APPE – girl your song’s crappy
S to the T to the ENKY – girl your song’s stinky
L to the A to the, to the, to the (So lame it hurts, Ow!)

V to the I to the CIEOUS to the M to the A to the LICIOS
To the H to the E to the DOOEUS to the R to the E to the, to the, to the
(So lame it hurts, Ow!)

W to the H to the INNY – girl your so whiney
S to the I to the LLIE – girl your so silly
D to the O to the PPEY – girl your so dopey
F to the U to the (So lame it hurts, Ow!)

H to the A to the ZEDROS to the D to the A to the NGERUS
To the S to the T to the UPIDAST to the D to the O to the, to the, to the…

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Matthias - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
To lessen confusion it starts with me complaining, then Fergie admitting that she's bad, and then finishes with me complaining. (That actually was a mistake that I didn't catch in the final read, because I really can't stand the original song. This parody is probably not going to be involved in anything unless there's another "Slam On The Original Song" type of contest, or a Fergie Artistry round.)
Tim Hall - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
What is a fergalicious anyway?
Barry Wilson JR. - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Boy Matthias I thought we had to bleep out some of those words. 5's for dissing Fergie, who even knows how she got on BEP in the first place.
Below Average Dave - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Yeah, we are supposed to bleep out certain words, Matthias' FCC button doesn't work too well though ;) A couple of pacing blips, but I don't think you'll be recording this one anyway, 5s
Tim Mayfield - August 19, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree totally. I couldn't even handle half of that song. I stopped it at 1:47 (it's 3:41 in case anyone is wondering). However... I think this is top notch Matthias. I think you came up with some very clever catchphrases and inspired dissin' all around.
Jack Wilson - August 20, 2008 - Report this comment
H to the ILARIOUS 555
Dr Music - August 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Good show. i hate Ferggie too.
Max Power - September 27, 2008 - Report this comment
bobpiecheese - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I don't mind Fergie when she's not doing solo songs (or mostly solo - My Humps was hideous). Her mostly-small parts in BEP songs aren't that bad. By herself, though - DEATH. Anyways, very funny, 555, you know the drill.
Agrimorfee - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Damn, I haven't laughed this hard in awhile, tears are streaming down my face. Best ever.
LittleCUPcakes - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, it seems you have a burning yen for this gal . . .
Below Average Dave - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(Art) As stated via phone your pacing was less than your normal standard, and on comedy it was pretty decent, TCOP--nail on the head with your opinion (My Humps--eww) Anyhow, you know what I think of this one buddy.
Rex - October 15, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I hate when my ears get glum. :-) Good creative rhyming.

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