I looked outside my dorm window, with fright at what I saw there
Mom is here, she’s always checking up
There’s a song on the radio that says
“A little help from my friends”
I need some help from my friends

Cover up all the signs of spilled wine
Need to make the booze smell disperse, so please open the windows
Toss the food that has molded:
The wings and nachos, fold the cheese dip off the drapery
Do it fast, we need to clean up with pizzazz

You said as you peered out the window, “She’s in the building”
Won’t be long, won’t be long yeah

Mom is in the dorm heading up (heading up), and we’re running out of time
When a parent’s in the dorm everyone lends a helping hand to…

This is me standing in the arch of the door
Checking the hall for any sign
That says she’s approaching the ninth floor
She’ll be here any minute, she’ll be here any minute

I don’t care about grime, that’s no crime
There are things in here so much worse, she just doesn’t need to know
Take down the centerfolds and go hide the pack of condoms in a box and then
Put up the bong into the drawer where it belongs

You said as you ran up the hallway, “The elevator –
Almost here, almost here, yeah

Mom is in the dorm heading up (heading up), and we’re running out of time
When a parent’s in the dorm everyone lends a helping hand to…

Mom is in the dorm, hide the stash, hide the stash (woah)

Mom is in the dorm heading up, and we’re almost out of time
When a parent’s in the dorm you get help ‘cause they all have felt the fright

Woah, yeah,
Everything’s all right
Woah, yeah
The stuff is out of sight