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Song Parodies -> "This Piss"

Original Song Title:

"This Kiss"

Original Performer:

Faith Hill

Parody Song Title:

"This Piss"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Urine for a real treat on this one. Dedicated to Johnny D and Rick
Duncan--I can't believe I beat you guys to this idea! Please visit
Mathias' "This Fish" for some terrific double entendre work.
I'm here at my buddy's clambake,
Had a six-pack, maybe two, no lie--
Now I can feel it in my prostate,
Found me a bush and unzipped my fly--
Now my stream is pumping faster than a
Hydrant at a fire!

Beer's a diuretic
Makes my bladder insist
Till this urinal notion's
At the top of my list
At the critical moment
It's--"AHHHH....."
Instinctual--
This piss! This piss!
And sphincteral--
This piss! This piss!

Went right back for more cervezas,
Chugging brewskis by the score--
Yeah, popping bottlecaps and poptops on those cold ones, get loud, talk
sports--
Now it's getting close to midnight,
Dudes are passed out on the floor!

Damn, who locked the bathroom?
Man, it's getting me pissed!
Nature's urgently calling,
And I'm pounding my fist!
Jeez, my vesicle's bursting--
It's--D'oh!--unthinkable!
This piss! This piss!
Will sphincter hold?
This piss! This piss!

So I stagger down the hallway, to the kitchen, past the guys--
I'm stumbling blind into the backyard darkness,
Dodging bottles, ducking fistfights--
Whoa!, finally found my sweet spot
Let my tinkle-tank fly--
Urine is flowing, steam is a-rising!

So relieved I made it!
It's a peeing I've missed!
With horrific engorgement
Of my vesical cyst!
Unbelievably painful
Kind--of--like childbirth--

This piss! This piss!
Zip, jerk and pull!
Piss! Piss! Piss! Piss!
So squirtable!
Yes, the spray is lovely, baby!
It's the spray that feels so gnarly!

Yes, the spray is lovely!
Urinology's gist!
Such a powerful potion
With a flick of the wrist!
When my bladder's unloading,
It's, "AHHHH!...Splendiferous!"

This piss! This piss!
Unstoppable!
Piss! Piss! Piss! Piss!
Dripdroppable!
Yes, the spray is lovely, baby!
It's the spray that feels so gnarly!
ęBob Gomez 2004....I can't wait for your analysis.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   14
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Aoid - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not fond of it, and TOS was made in the 90s, like 1998 or something.
John Barry - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
As we say in my home state of NH, this one's a pissah.
Arwen - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I will never get over the fact that Aoid finds it so important to check which decade the parodist credited the original song to.
Claude Prez - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm fond of it. And piss on aoid, you know he wants it.
the REAL IP Frehley - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Aoid is MALE, damn it. Please stop making immature comments about Aoid's gender, or I swear to God I will report them all as inappropriate. So just shut the hell up.
Rick D - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Speaking for Johnny, thanks for the dedication. And you've proven you're the real whiz in this subject.
Sgt. Carter - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
No matter what gender AOID is, Aoid will always be a bitch.
Johnny D - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Speaking for Rick, thanks for the dedication, too. Like Rick said, you've proven urine the big leagues with this topic.
Jack Miov - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Enough immature comments! Intentionally calling someone by the wrong gender is very childish; something that a first grader would do. Please stop them already.
The FAKE IP Frehley - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Enough pompous demands for maturity! Intentionally lecturing someone for what you personally think is "immature" is very A-hole-ish, something that a first-rate-A-hole would do. Please stop that already.
Jack Miov - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
TFIPF, shut the (blank) up. :P
Jack Miov - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
AOID IS MALE, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! I swear, if you make ONE MORE STUPID COMMENT about Mr. Aoid's gender, I swear to God I will report all of them as inappropriate and have Chucky deal with them. So just back off, sister. Bytheway, my last name is pronounced "me off", in case you were wondering.
Tommie Lasorda - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
You have no authority to make that statement!
Paul Robinson - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I find the parody text AND the comments totally Piss-terical...
Bob Gomez, pissing himself with laughter - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
My, this one did stimulate a spray of intelligent conversation, didn't it? I could care less about aoid's gender, opinions or votes--but I would kick a Supreme Court justice's ass if it meant protecting our freedom to speak freely on this or any other site--or pee freely--or write songs about episstemology, for that matter......"And they couldn't prevent Jack from being Miov...."....d;:^)
Jack Miov again please - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
STOP IT, JUST STOP IT, EVERYBODY, STOP IT!!! AOID IS MALE !!! HE HAS A PENIS !!! I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT !!!
Stuart McArthur - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
And, aoid, it's important we get your gender right because.....why?
Ashkicksass - November 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Well I'm glad to see the comments, because not only did they make me giggle, but without the mention on the thread I would have missed this masterpeece entirely. As a woman who has to go about every 5 minutes, I consider this an anthem for the small bladdered people of the world that insist upon drinking large quantities of beer. Sing it with pride, Bob! And I'll sing it with you!
Bob Gomez, chugging a cold one - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
"....and it was all yellow..."
Josh 2 - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes we've gathered that Aoid is male. We didn't say he wasn't
haha - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
"The Fake IP Frehley" and "Jack Miov Again Please" and "gynecologist" are all Johnny_D posing under stupid names.
Mitch45 - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
I love this parody. The original song is too cutesy and is begging for a parody treatment. Nice work.
Panther Piss - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
The OS is quite annoying to me and a sign of how dead and corporate "country" (and pop) is. However I LOVE this parody. Have you ever heard the 1981 J. Geils Band tune "Piss On The Wall"? ; )

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