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Song Parodies -> "The Dentist Song"

Original Song Title:

"Cleanin' Out my Closet"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"The Dentist Song"

Parody Written by:

Stockton

The Lyrics

Finally, I have completed a rap parody! It takes skill to do a rap parody, and I'm surprised that I did it. Anyway, I was at the dentist's recently, which is how this song came up. I knew I was gonna paradize Eminem someday, so here it is.
Where's my pick?
I can't get plaque out without a pick... Here it is
Yeah, yo, yo

Have you ever been brushin' or flossin' for all of your teeth?
I have; I've been cappin', fillin', and rootin' for your teeth
Lots of whines from my patiant guys, look at the time
See the germs that the motherlovin' gums have to hide
All this commotion, emotion, the kid, his lungs are explodin'
Tempers flarin' from the parents so they had better keep goin'
I'm takin' toothies from kiddies and I know that I need drillin'
I'm pullin' teeth in the mornin' and takin' names for the fillin's
Leave 'em a taste of something like blueberry in their mouth
So now they're figurin', don't know what they're thinkin' about
Look at me now, I bet you're probably sick of me now
Ain't ya Timmy, I'm givin' you a big root canal

I'm sorry Timmy
I never meant to hurt you
I bet you really want to cry
But today, I'm pullin' out the molars (one more time)
I said I'm sorry Timmy
I never meant to hurt you
I bet you really want to cry
But today, I'm pullin' out the molars (ha!)

I got some pointy things in your pie hole and I'll give that plaque a huge beatin'
So I'm just gonna ask you what kind of stuff were you eatin'
I'll go reapeatin'; I'll take you back to 1960
Before I ever thought I'd get myself a dentist's degree
I was a child; maybe I was just about seven years
I remembered bacteria and that's when I had the fear
I'd be killed, and I heard that they like to hide in your teeth
Maybe, just like in nuke attacks, I could hide under my seat
I look for plaque, see, and I do not know how it got inside
Even though I love the kids, I pick as hard as I try
To make it hurt-proof on the gums with anesthetics you think that I'm pathetic
I'm only human, so be man enough to face it you kid
You can call me stupid, I think you should hush
So you better shut your mouth or you won' get a brand new toothbrush
I gotta fill 'em; 'cause there's cavities no doctor should see
Steve's my name, but on the job, they call me Dr. Parkaski

I'm sorry Timmy
I never meant to hurt you
I bet you really want to cry
But today, I'm pullin' out the molars (one more time)
I said I'm sorry Timmy
I never meant to hurt you
I bet you really want to cry
But today, I'm pullin' out the molars

Now I would never leave you toothless, just to get extra money
Take a moment now, sonny, why'd you think I'd leave you all gummy
I see myself in your position; I try to envision
Witnessin' my toothies poppin' because I have an infection
Picture tryin' to eat your food and it hurts because they're all missin'
When you're 30, you'll need denchers, but you're not a senior citizen
You may think I'm a jerk, you'll think not right after I'm gonna show this
Show this build up what I'm made of when I fix your halotosis
Turn and spit; and I hope that helps you so you brush to stop cavities, Tim
So if you got one, then it'd be a travisty, Tim
So guess what? You should start flossin' now, you're the boss when plaques buildin'
And doctors recommend to use Colgate toothpaste to be shieldin'
And your mother's whites are pearly, wow, you should see 'em, they're beautiful
By the time you die, you'll still have braces on at your funeral
And what hurts me the most, you'll still admit that I'm wrong
Just tell him, Mom, that's the reason that I written this song
Now, you're teeth are all yellow, but when I'm done, they'll be white
Please do not fight; I'll asure that everything will be all right
Just take a breath, in and out, and have a little trust in me
Close your eyes, take this mask, and count backwards from three

I'm sorry Timmy
I never meant to hurt you
I bet you really want to cry
But today, I'm pullin' out the molars (one more time)
I said I'm sorry Timmy
I never meant to hurt you
I bet you really want to cry
But today, I'm pullin' out the molars

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 4
 2
 
 5   2
 1
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

neminem - June 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Quite impressive. I know how hard rap is to parody, having done this exact song, and this is at least as good as mine.
Olvan The Terrible - June 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoa! A dentist-related song parody from the DENTIST'S point of view! Is this the first?
smiley - April 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Great dentist rap. Coolll!
Cody Slusher - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good.
MIKE - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
what is your name? I'M - IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS

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