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Song Parodies -> "Alan"

Original Song Title:

"Kim"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Alan"

Parody Written by:

Idleblood2020

The Lyrics

This is my version of the song "Kim". Just so you guys know, I cencored the profanity, dawg
(Josie)
Aww look at mommy's baby girl
That's mommy's baby
Aww, Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it, now you're two
Baby you're so precious
Mommy's so proud of you
SIT DOWN B*TCH!
YOU MOVE AGAIN I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!

Don't make me wake this baby!
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit cryin' punk! Why you always make me shout at you?!
How could you just leave me and love her out the blue?
Oh, what's the matter Alan?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad, bitch! You're gonna finally hear me out this time!
At first, I'm like: "All right, You wanna throw me out? That's fine!"
But not for her to take my place! Are you out of your mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house was mine! *smashes things*
But How could you let her sleep in our bed?
Look here Al!
Look at your girlfriend now!
I said, look at her!
She ain't so hot now is she?
Little Punk!
Alan: Josie, Why are you doing this?
Josie: Just Shut the f*ck up, Already!
Alan: You're drunk! You're never going to get away with this!
Josie: You think I give a flying f*ck?!
Come on! We're going for a ride, b*tch! *Grabs Alan M's Hair*
Alan: No!
Josie: Sit up front!
Alan: Well, I can't just leave Amber alone! What if she wakes up?
Josie: We'll be right back... Well, I will --- you'll be in the trunk, b*tch!

Chorus (Kenny) 2x:
So long
B*tch, you did me so wrong
I don't wan't to go on
Living in this world without you


Josie: (All Upset) You really f*cked me Alan! You really did a number on me!
I never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Alan, I was only 17!
That was years ago!
I thought we wiped the slate clean!
That's f*cked up!
Alan: I love you!
Josie: Oh God, my brain is racing
Alan: That's a cool song
Josie: What are you doing?
Change the station! I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
Alan: No, Josie!
Josie: There's a four year old little boy layin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room!
Ha-ha! What, you think I'm kidding you?
You loved him didn't you?
Alan: No I Don't!
Josie: Bullsh*t, you b*tch! Don't you f*cking lie to me!
What the f*ck's this guy's problem on the side of me?
F*ck you, asshole! Yeah, bite me!
Alan, ALAN!
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly, don't you?
Alan: It's not that!
Josie: No, you think I'm ugly
Alan: Baby, Please
Josie: Get the f*ck away from me! Don't ever touch me!
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU!
OH MY GOD, I F*CKING HATE YOU!
How the fuck could you do this to me?!
Alan: Sorry!
Josie: How the fuck could you do this to me, Alan?!

Chorus (Kenny) 2x

Josie: Come on, get out
Alan: I can't! I'm scared!
Josie: I said get out, you b*tch!
Alan: OW Let go of my hair!
Please don't do this, baby!
Please I love you! Look, we can just take Amber and leave!
Josie: F*ck you! You did this to us! You did it! It's your fault!
Oh my God, I'm cracking up. Get a grip, Josie!
Hey, remember the time we went to Maynard's party
And you were, like, so drunk you threw up all over Dexter?
That was funny, wasn't it?
Kim: Yes
Josie: (More Aggressive) That was funny, wasn't it?!
Alan: Yes!
Josie: See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your girfriends have a fight,
One of you tries to grab a knife,
And during the struggle, she accidentally gets her Adam's apple sliced!
Alan: No!
Josie: And while this is going on, her son has woke up
And he walks in, she panics, and he gets his throat cut!
Alan: Oh my God!
Josie: So now, they both dead, and you slash your own throat,
So now it's double homicide AND suicide with no note!
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've----HEY! Where you going? Get the f*ck back here!
You can't run from me, Alan!
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself!
Ha! Ha! Got'cha!
Alan: Ahh!
Josie: Go ahead! Yell!
Here I'll scream with you!
"AHH, SOMEBODY HELP!"
Don't you get it bitch? No one can hear you!
Now shut the f*ck up and get what's coming to you!
You were supposed to love me!
(*Alan choking*)
NOW BLEED, B*TCH! BLEEED!
BLEED, B*TCH! BLEEED! BLEEEEED!

Chorus 2x

(The Ending is the sound of Josie packing and moving out her old apartment with Alan M.)
BTW, reply, dawg!

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rueben - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Did she just argue with him or something?
Noodles - April 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Um... You spelled "Censored" Wrong and besides, Try again, kiddo

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