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Song Parodies -> "Goalie Shirt"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Goalie Shirt"

Parody Written by:

Rocky Mak

The Lyrics

I wrote it right at the end of a torrid 2005 during a week-long exam wait between my second and third exams, and I was badly struggling to study for my exams. I was fearing for the safety of my best friends going overseas in the coming weeks, and I was lonely and depressed. It got to the point that I needed to 'step away from myself' by bringing someone in. So this is the second time I've ever split my personality up to detach myself and give myself back some motivation and perspective on things. The reason I never release it until now is because the feelings took a surprisingly long time to heal. But I decided to release it now is because of the two disasters. I needed it again to remind me how bad and how low I felt to warn myself to prevent myself going down there again. This was my first ever rap parody. Unlike the original, only most the events mentioned are true.
Yeah, I know sometimes, things may not always go well for you somehow.
But hey, what Henry always tell you?
Straighten up, little soldier!
Stiffen up that upper lip!
What’chu crying about?
You got me?

Rocky, I know you miss your friends, and I know you miss your chance (to say goodbye properly).
And they’re gone. But they’re trying to strive for a life that they hope to have.
I can see you’re sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh,
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside, you wanna cry.
Cos you’re scared now. They ain’t there?
I’m sure they’re wit’ you in your prayers.
No more crying, wipe them tears.
Henry’s here, no more nightmares.
We gon’ pull together through it, we gon’ do it.
Shirley, Rocky’s crazy, ain’t he? Yeah. (Rocky tends to shun people away while he studies in his bedroom (the only place on Earth he’d like to be alone), which is an absolute opposite of when he’s at school.)
But he loves you, girl, and you better know it.

We’re all we got in this world.
When it spins, when it swirls,
When it whirls, when it twirls,
Two little beautiful pearls (The other one would be his brother, Roland, he made him much younger than he actually is).
Looking puzzled, in a daze,
I know it’s confusing you.
Daddy’s always loosing screws (temper)
Rocky’s got too much to lose.

(He kept saying it, even if his parents don't growl at him, failing courses means getting used to new people. He can really not do with that. I don't know how he'll cope next semester).

I tried to keep you sheltered from it (bad news)
But somehow it seems, the harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me.
All the things, growing up as Henry, that he had to see,
Henry don’t want you to see, but you see just as much as he did.

You did not plan it to end this way, but Rocky, you see that:
Things have got so bad in real life, I don’t see you ever turn that big clock back ever again
Like you used to do when you were teenagers.
But then of course, everything always happens for a reason.
I guess it was big mistakes you did,
But it’s just something you can’t go and do over and that’s what big regret is.
But no more worries, rest you head, then study heaps,
Maybe next week you’ll (Rocky & his friends) meet up, and this will all just be a dream.

Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little matey, I told ya
Henry's here to hold ya through the night
I know your friend's not here right now but please understand why
I feel how you feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, don’t be lazy.
And I promise you’re gonna be alright

It's funny
I remember that one day when Rocky had no licy (license)
Bouncers kept him out of Shady’s (a bar in university)
And then stuck 'em on the balcony until some of his friends found him
Cuz Rocky couldn't bribe 'em
I'll never forget that birthday; he sat up the whole night crying
Cuz Rocky felt he was robbed see Rocky had a job
But his job was not to drink, but just to hang out with his ROM’s (Ring of Mates)
And at the time every thing that he has planned either kept getting interrupted or robbed, or shot up on the spot (got rejected)
And his mom was saving money for him in a jar
Trying to start a piggy bank for him so y’all could go to Paradice

(An indoor ice skating rink He still wants to have that party there, have the whole place to yourselves, and take over the DJ and everything).

Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke his fragile heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Brock (he has loads of nicknames, but this is one I use for him) and dad was arguin' a lot so Rocky moved back and stop talking to him, and they grow further apart
And then dad moved back to the other side of the house in Remuera
(well, they still live together, but they very rarely even try to patch things up.)

And that's when Rocky went to Pakuranga with his two gloves and met Uncle Sam (his indoor soccer coach)
And asked dad and momma out to see him
But daddy had to work, me and momma had to leave him (Hey, Rocky thought that he found a place he can feel good, so I let him be).
Then they started seeing Rocky as a goalie. And daddy didn't like it
And me and Shirley were too blind to understand it
Rocky’s insecure alone (like times like ‘downtimes’ before exams), Rocky developed a habit (that’s when his exercise addiction got worse again).
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all he ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now he’s sittin in his empty ‘house’ (bedroom), just reminiscing.
Thinking all the moments that he had (with his friends) that just trips me out
To see how much his thoughts have grown (you must admit, subtly but surely, he changed a lot in just 2 years), it's almost like you're family now
Wow, he thinks you pretty much are, but Henry's still here

Shirley I'm talkin' to you too, Henry's still here
You like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, friends are only gone for the moment

Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little matey, I told ya
Henry's here to hold ya through the night
I know your friend's not here right now but please understand why
I feel how you feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, don’t be lazy.
And I promise you’re gonna be alright

And when exams are through,
Henry’s gonna buy you a new goalie shirt,
I’m a give you the world.
I’m a buy a skating rink for you; I’m a train wit’ you
I’ll do anything for you to see you smile.

(The following part is just a hugely exaggerated worse case scenario; I hope it won’t come to that).

But if your exam marks don’t swing (upwards, meaning improvement), and that grades don’t shine,
Dad can break your lower back.
You’ll go back to where you came from, says ‘see ya later’
And make you live all alone, so don’t fuck with dad.
I'm OK now, I had already done this song to 3 counselors and 2 psychiatrists.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Invisible Boy - September 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Ahhh...I know this OS well. I believe you and I are the only ones to parody it here.Just for the amount of work it takes...I give you A for effort.
Also...I'm glad you're feeling better.
Barry Wilson JR. - September 05, 2008 - Report this comment
This was an excellent parody. I thought it was a little repetious, but for the amount of time spent, it was worth it. 555.
Below Average Dave - September 05, 2008 - Report this comment
This is a very difficult Original Song to take on, and while most people who take on Eminem cop out early-you made it to the finish line. I think you'll fit in well, and yet another set of 5s from me.
Rocky Mak - September 06, 2008 - Report this comment
It's just unfortunate that I can't rap as well as I can sing. This is the first rap parody I got, and the lyrics just came because I was so depressed.

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