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Song Parodies -> "Wide America"

Original Song Title:

"White America"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Wide America"

Parody Written by:

My name is Kenny

The Lyrics

*curtains rise* *taps mic* ahem...
America!! We love food!
How many people in this country right now are eating some chips or candy bars?
The stripes and the stars for the right to all-you-can-eat buffets
The women and men who've fed their face for the freedom to eat
at any kind of restaurant that you can afford
(Yo, I want everybody to listen to the words of this song)
And come back for more...

I never would've dreamed in a million years I'd see
So many super-chunky people who eat for three
There ain't no excuse, for this nation's gluttony
It's like a f*ckin' army of obesity
So many pies for lunch, so much dinner plates
Average overweight American, just craves and craves
In the cafeteria line, loadin' trays and trays
While their cholesterol levels just raise and raise
Who woulda thought, people livin' here, who can eat anywhere
Started having too much, 'cause they're too greedy to share
Who knew the richest country in the world would act like this?
How could we predict the USA would get fat like this?
Listen up the next time you go visit the doctor's office
The doctors keeps telling us all about our heart problems
But we can't release our clutches from our honeybuns
We're munchin' 'em
We need these cakes to survive
That's where we're comin' from in

CHORUS (2X):
Wide America!
Look at the size of your kids!
Wide America!
See how fat this whole country is!
Wide America!
We're all just too damn big!
We go to Taco Bell
Stuff ourselves like fu**ing pigs!

Enormous guys, they need food, baby, just like yourself
'Cept they weigh three eighty-two, maybe they should get help
'Cause they be huge, they eat food, daily stuffin' themselves
'Cause they be food-crazy (ooh, gravy!) ruinin' their health
So much food to have
Will they cut back? Hey, don't make me laugh
It's an effort just to buy a bag of chips that's low-fat
You see an ad, says you'll lose weight or they'll send your dough back
You lose some weight, then you wait two weeks and watch it grow back
You've got too many pounds, you ain't nowhere close to light
You go find some cookies, gobble 'em up, and you're like "Yummy"
Each and every day, you go chew 'em down fast
Can't fit your pants, calories headin' straight to your ass
That big gut that you've got
Hangs out under your tank top
You probably hear all the strain on every sweatband that you've got
You know you should stop, but you just wanna get chow
All you think about is "Dinner, is it ready yet now?"

CHORUS 2X

See, there's millions of 'em, searchin' for Hamburger Bliss
But they get so many health risks that it hurts to list
They think "What's wrong with having just one Hershey's Kiss?"
And then they're pigging out on chocolate 'til their shirt just splits
When they get on the bus, they have to move sideways
'Cause they're wide enough to fit across two highways
Overweight jerks, say they're too busy to work the gym
They don't exercise at all 'cause sweating hurts their skin
The doc hears something wrong underneath his stethoscope
But they still don't eat right, nope
They try a rice cake and choke
Can't force it down their throat
Gaggin' on it when they bite it, like "I don't like it, no!"
All I hear is
Eat it eat it lots of bratwurst cooking
Monsters looking for dessert
Searchin' 'til their heart stops working
Surely obesity is a problem
From Compton over to Boston
Because it bothers your doctor
You oughta lay off the chocolates
Now you're devourin' the snacks like some starved hungry dragon
Actin like you gotta eat every last thing off the chuck wagon
Shit, why don't you get yourself some roasted lamb
Or smoke some ham
Go out and eat the most you can!

CHORUS 2X

So to the fatties of America
Food is the damager, it makes you a scarier, fat grotesque character
You overeat it until your health is gone
Can't stop yourselves from sitting down and ordering more and eating on and on at Waffle House
You'll be in a casket 'cause you won't buy anything with a low-fat sticker
And I get sicker every time I look at this nation of inflation
F*ck you, Ronald McDonald!
F*ck you, Sara Lee!!
F*ck you with the barrels of grease that every crumb of your ugly unhealthy fatty food has!
F*ck you!!!
Ha ha ha! I'm just playing, America. Let's go get some Big Macs.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 1
 
 5   24
 26
 26
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

princess cherry bomb - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment
That must have taken you ages! but i thought it was very funny 'cos it's clever and it's true.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good, but curses to you! I was thinking of doing a 'Wide America' and checked to make sure it hadn't been done. A fine job though, with just a few pacing differences now and then. 4-5-5
Al - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
all 5 bro good job hey you would not mnd if i used this song for my cd would you

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