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Song Parodies -> "The Dog Walkers"

Original Song Title:

"Like Toy Soldiers"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"The Dog Walkers"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Step by step, yard by yard, wait--good boy
Down, down boy down...

Step by step, yard by yard, wait--good boy
Down, down boy down, we're dog walkers
Sit girl sit, roll over, time to go in
Back outside tomorrow we're dog walkers

Early mornin I go walkin with my dogs, yeah, keep on gawking
A collie, a hound, and three toy poodles who don't stop squawking
Now when they have to go they poop it, my job's to be sure to scoop it
Put it in a biodegradable bag, that's where I group it
Don't matter I like to bring them to dog parks where they can run free
Keep lots of Milky Bone treats in my shorts so they come and don't leave me
I need to be the leader, my pack looks for me to guide 'em
If the dog catcher comes around, I'm make sure to run and hide 'em
For the ticks I give them Frontline, the best I'd say it's sub-lyme
If bugs are looking for a home they're whacked in no time
I feed them before walkin they chow down on Kibbles and Bits
I can't believe they broke in my beer cooler they're drinkin my Schlitz
And even though the puppies were drunk, they still all went walkin
Bobbin and weavin and stumbling on, the neighbors all are talkin
But nosy neighbors bug me but they are the leash of my problems
There's always something worse I find one of my dogs has got in
We went walkin in the woods and came upon a skunk
The hound he tried to catch him but he just got punked
Without intervention, he'll stink to high heaven
I bought gallons of tomato juice from Seven-Eleven
Now you'd think he'd be happy that I'm cleanin his head
But I think he was embarrassed cause boy was his red
The pup showed me his teeth, and his tail was all curled
I tried to help him relax, but it's a dog eat dog world
So I reach into the cupboard, find a dogfood can
Give Rover another reason, to be best friend of a man
Rub his tummy, Rover's happy, satisfied for the minute
But I'm knowin' he'll want out to take care of his business so

Step by step, yard by yard, wait--good boy
Down, down boy down, we're dog walkers
Sit girl sit, roll over, time to go in
Back outside tomorrow we're dog walkers

There used to be a time when you could let sleeping dogs lie
Just let them out in the yard and you knew that they would be fine
But now you turn your back and find you have no more tranquility
They dug and hit a wire, got charged by Miss Utility
It's a dangerous forest, these bugs see Fido as a target
We can't believe what Fido picked up for us at the flea market
Again I had to bathe him, bribed him with treats that I gave him
Who knows what's creeping around in all that hair, I'll have to shave him
Neighbor's dog is yappin', in our front yard that dog's crappin
F--- it Fido sick 'em, lick 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my hound Rover is pullin' in another direction
The mailman's on the way and Rover's itchin for some action
Mailman throws a catalog and hits Rover with Macy's new collection
Truck is kickin dust as he peels out of our avenue
I yelled, "Rover's a blood hound, and you know that he'll be trackin you"
Rover's nose is second to none I always knew it was the best
Rover got on the computer mapped the mail route out on Mapquest
Back to song I'm angry from verse one when my dogs drank my brew
But I'm so busy being pissed off he peed on my shoe!
I want to clean up the mess but don't know what to do
We just got a new carpet so now I hope he doesn't soil it
He still insists on drinkin from the toilet
Another walk we're heading back to the woods and a pretty lake
The dogs all jump in there, come out and soak us with a shake
The yippy dogs were yappin about, they came in oodles
Fido got tired of all of that noise, he at all the poodles
We're visiting the shelter where they got dogs by the pound
We'll find another dog that doesn't make a yappy pup sound
Returning home to feed the dogs and be the dinner server
There's something wrong, I ate dog food cause those darn dogs ate my burger
I thought that it was out of reach I should have pushed it further
I hope they didn't eat too much so her tummy won't hurt her
Story's getting twisted, hope the burger wasn't rotten
It's time for me to take a final stand
I think I'm done I've rambled about as long as I can
Cause frankly I'm sick of talkin'
But I'll be back outside tomorrow walkin with my dogs squawkin cause...

Step by step, yard by yard, wait--good boy
Down, down boy down, we're dog walkers
Sit girl sit, roll over, time to go in
Back outside tomorrow we're dog walkers

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   18
 17
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

tomario - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
well jeff it was worth waiting for i think this was the hardest to do (especially if you had to listen to it lol) well crafted and thought out i even chuckled i think you've set the standard for the comp.great parody 555
Jeff Reuben - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, even with the mp3, which I listened to several times, I don't think I quite nailed the pacing. Hope it gets some laughs =)
Kristof Robertson - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
OMG! HUGE effort here, Jeff...or should we be calling you DJ Jazzy Jeff? This must've taken some doing...very funny. 555
bobpiecheese - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Well done, Jeff! I have to admit that's a bugger of a song...and you did it brilliantly. Topic was very original...'The Dog Walkers', I never would've thought of that!
AFW - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Wouldn't fret too much about pacing worries..just doing a rap song like this is a fantastic achievement
Matthias - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
This one was no walk in the park.... 5's!
Dr. Bob - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
makes me want to get back into parody writing. well done. very tough song to do.
Agrimorfee - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(Parody challenge) Excellent Jeff! Luke Brattoni just got owned! 555
Jeff Reuben - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Serves me right for working on this at 2 in the morning before the deadline. This line:
Fido got tired of all of that noise, he at all the poodles Should be
Fido got tired of all of that noise, he ate all the poodles
Jeff Reuben - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks to Dr. Bob for catching that.
Kristof robertson - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(parody challenge) See above...fab work
Cat - July 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(Great Parody Challenge) Wow, Jeff. This is just flat-out stellar. You took a killer of a song from arguably the hardest genre to parody, spun off heaps upon heaps of hilarious lines, and made me laugh out loud so hard my dad started to wonder why I sounded like a chipmunk! 5s plus, definitely!
bobpiecheese - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(Great Parody Challenge) What I said above! And, BTW...I guess I should apologize. I mean, I was the one who entered that song in the first place! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!! And sort of Cat's too. She suggested I should submit some complex rap song. Which I did. Sorry!
Johnny D - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(Parody Challenge) TMGLTM ... e.g., "Keep lots of Milky Bone treats in my shorts so they come and don't leave me", "For the ticks I give them Frontline, the best I'd say it's sub-lyme", "Rover got on the computer mapped the mail route out on Mapquest". Brilliant!
Red Ant - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
I am dizzy from trying to keep up with TOS while reading this, though it's not due do any pacing errors on your part, more like laughing in the middle of lines and losing my place. Indeed, TMGLTM. 5s!
Stuart McArthur - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(PC) holy crap, I'm glad it was you and not me Jeff - this is an awesome effort - never have I been more grateful for phrases being re-used from the OS - just spaced regularly enough for me to make sure I was reading the right lines at the right times to the OS, otherwise I would have got lost - and that's just reading it - I can't imagine how lost you must have gotten writing it - fantastic - 555
Stephen Harrington - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but it takes alot of effort to write one to a rap song, 555, very cute.
Agrimorfee - August 04, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Again, nice job on a genre you don't normally tackle (i sure dont'!)
Chris Bodily TM - August 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, in fact I found it on YouTube with Anime accompaniment. I got a little lost in the pacing up until the line about the mailman and then it just kept rolling and getting exciting. It was hard to understand Em's lyrics most of the time, but a lot of rappers are the Eddie Van Halen of speech, I guess. I'm sure I love your lyrics better than Em's by far. Great parody topic, too. Good boy! 555 treats for you.
paula miconas silos miconas - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) brilliant.. musta been tough doin a rap.. but u really nailed it. it was fantasticly done i must say!!!
The Charnstar - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, I looked at the lyrics of the original though.. So.. That kinda gets the idea, and it looks like it all fits together. LOL! As for your lyrics, pure genious, I love it, 5-5-5
Kristof Robertson - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Jeff-o steps up to the plate to take on Diddy, Fiddy and all the other -iddies. Massive effort, dawg!
Jeff Reuben - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Agri, Chris, PMSM, Charnstar, and Kristof! Yes, Eminem is a bit out of my comfort zone, but it was fun to try. Glad people are enjoying it!
Michael McVey - August 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm sure this took a lot of work, but I'm just not much of a dog person. This is funny in places but overworked subject matter in others. I mean, how many parodies will people write about dogs pooping in the park?-- MM
Rick C - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow Jeff! Tough OS and a fine result! 555
Max Power - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Alright
Cat - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above! Still brings a goofy grin to my face. =D
Stuart McArthur - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) as I said above, awesome effort Jeff, and there must have been times, about 40% of the way thru, when you must've had doubts if you were going to get there - that's usually the stage where I just give up ;-)
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - You know a parody about Dogs is good when Cats approve of it... :-)
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above...and the one above that. Geez, I feel guilty everytime I see this.
Red Ant - August 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, and my fav line was "They dug and hit a wire, got charged by Miss Utility"; very good observation of the most mundane thing makes for good humor.
Johnny D - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above ... WOOF !
wannabemustangjockey - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I bet my song ("These Places I've Been Fired") has more trademark references than yours does .... but then again, that wasn't your focus here. Favorite lines: "The mailman's on the way and Rover's itchin for some action / Mailman throws a catalog and hits Rover with Macy's new collection"
Scathe - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This had to be a difficult parody, but it's cute.
Arwen - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...the difficulty of the song, (I'll DIE the day Kristof makes us do Rap) paired with me complete adoration for anything having to do with dogs adds up to make this whole thing FABulous, Jeff. So many GREAT lines...I wouldn't even know where to begin. Just wonderful!
Cody Slusher - April 19, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm trying to think up one for that original song.I love Eminem.
Jeff Reuben - May 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Best of luck Cody...tough, tough song :)

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