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Song Parodies -> "Team America"

Original Song Title:

"White America"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Team America"

Parody Written by:

Ben Schuldt

The Lyrics

I bleeped out the bad words this time.
[Verse #1]
I never woulda dreamed in a million years id see
so many mutha f**kin puppets who look like these
Who hold political views
And act on their very beliefs
It's like a f**kin army of marionettes on strings
So many lives were crushed
So much ammo aimed at large without discretion
It ignites then fades
Creating matrix distortion waves
We rant and rave
Till we put bullets in ya head
For freedom that pays
who woulda thought lookin in this mirror
Pasting facial hair wit some super glue
Reachin for an afghan to wear
That I would catapult to the fore-front of liberty like this
How can I predict my skills
Would come in handy like this?
I musta struck a chord wit somebody up in the office
Cuz congress keeps tellin me
My talent solves all of their problems
And now it seems I'm working for the government
I'm lovin it
I've performed my whole life
And now I'm fakin it with

[Chorus]
TEAM AMERICA
I could save one of your kids
TEAM AMERICA
Cool, I fight terrorists.
TEAM AMERICA
I shoot up lots of sh*t
I go to FAG
Look how many stars I hit

[Verse #2]
Look at these strings, hanging there, baby not like yourself
If they were cut
Gary fears take a dive on his health
But Garys cool
Gary knew Gary's acting would help
Make Arabs think Gary
(or Achmed)
Acts like themselves.
Then after that
I got back and Lisa tried to hold back
I didn't destroy WMDs
In the Mid East to get jack.
But I can fib, so f**k her
tell her life I won't lack.
Take off those clothes
Show some f**king marionettes stat
When I was on stage
No one ever put up a fight
No fan wanted to kill me
Almost felt safe, I was like "F**k yeah"
Until there was Moore
The one with the fat ass
Had him a bomb
And blew up Mt. Rushmore real fast.
Hot dogs helped him not stop
Every jolly he got
Went into this
In exchange for every right wing plot he made flop
Like damn won't he drop
Sittin back look at this base go pow!
I'm like, "Is this where we're going to have our headquarters now?

[Chorus]

[Verse #3]
See the problem be with Kim Jong V minus III.
Who otherwise
Woulda never knew to give freedom freely.
Vietcong probably never thought that violence was wrong
Till we crashed their communist gathering so courageously
Straight off the stage right into the battle I stood
the team flipped
When I was flown in by Spottswoode
That's all it took
And they were instantly hooked right in
As they got tangled wit me through our strings hangin in
That's when they put my intentions under such scrutiny
Searchin for a hitch with my ability
It's like I'm trying to cope
Pressure getting to my every note
Watching me perform this like, "I can't stand this show!"
All I fear is
Critics critics constantly scaring me
Fanatics working round the globe
To try to erode our democracy
Surely our polls show nadda a problem
From LA to Boston
After I bust these marauders
and bombers startin to cost em
Now they're catchin my act, for the terrorists
In their turbans
Attacking like I'm the first actor to go to Baghdad from urban
Shiite
Just look at me like I'm ya only hope
Nah "nother dope
The mutha f**kin end of the rope!

[Chorus]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   0
 1
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User Comments

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Stephen aka Step-chan - November 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I like it, but I don't know the original that well. Very cool parody.
Brian - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
finally, a parody for fans of Team America!
Luke Brattoni - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Ha! I was going to do a parody like this but I'd already done 'Whiny Harry Club'. Nice rhymes but your pacing was off for the majority of the song (never fear, Eminem parodies are a beeatch to do). Loved the 'Shiite' line. 454

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