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Song Parodies -> "Criminal"

Original Song Title:

"Edible"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Criminal"

Parody Written by:

Justazeroman

The Lyrics

A lot of people think that .. what I eat
Or what I say I eat , that I actually do eat for real
Or that I think it tastes good
Or if I say that , I think some mommas cooking was good
That I'm actually gonna eat it
And keep on eating it
Well, Mr. Burrito, if you believe that
Then I'll eat you!
You know why?
Cuz you're so
EDIBLE
EDIBLE

You got that right
You're EDIBLE
Yeah, you're INCREDIBLE

My mouth has teeth like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll slice off a wedge
Of cheese like bries
Baby if you please
Fries or pies - hate pickles? Feathers make me tickle

I'm a kick? Nah, you're just sick
Starin at my peas, watchin them roll on my plate
Those's my finger lickin peas, you'd better let go of em
They belong on my plate, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, pass the salt
Babe, it's not my fault!
I just said 24 carrots, ok?
Get it? 24 'carats'
How many carrots you expectin to eat
After that second helping of meat?
C'mon!óRelax guy, there's plenty for you
Right, Em? I think I'm almost through
Please Marshall, we need some lyrics
Help this sorry little knock-off finish out
Oh, and please send me a million dolla
And a brand new pink corvette
For my sweet little Georgia peach
Or I'll publish this little dittie
Yeah! Take that to the bank Mr. Slim
Mr. Slim, Mr. Slim, You're a schnook, just watch me grin!
You can't teach me, your lyrics can't neither
You can't teach me a serious thing cuz
I eat Fritos and I eat Cheetos
And if you don't watch it
I'll eat your toes too
You can't stop me from eatin
Diet's? What's that?..I keep cheatin
Two all beef patties
For me Mr. Fatty
Some special sauce
Sure ain't no loss
A speckled old bun
Yeah, that sounds fun!
Let us cheese, if you please
It's just me...Eatin all around
Whatever can be found
Mr. "Eating Disorder"
Has it all in order
Cuz

It's EDIBLE
Cuz every time I eat, they think it's all so neat
cuz I like my beets - Yeah they're EDIBLE
I don't gotta say a word, though it seems absurd
Hey would you pass that bird, I eat it all cuz..
It's EDIBLE
Cuz every time I eat, they think it's all so neat
cuz I like my beets - Yeah they're EDIBLE
I don't gotta say a word, though it seems absurd
Hey would you pass that bird, I eat it all cuz..


My mother cooked and ate, and ate and ate
The baby came out fat, it's just my fate
There's just no way
I can escape
I was a baby who'd grow up just as hungry as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
It's all EDIBLE - a potato fest, would be the best
So how the heck you sposed to get fat if you don't eat?
So as I got older and I got a lot bigger
My body got fatter, my humanity disfigured
I eat ding-dongs to get filled up quicker
I lost my appetite once when I saw
The president stealin food off people's plates
At a Burger King on SNL
Saved by the bell!
No one would tell
Now don't abhore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm fat, wide-bodied
and I'm a hotty
I'm the fat guy who makes fun of people that try
To get thin at those gyms
As long as I don't get slim!
Fat Albert, I'm as fat as that imp
Yeah I'm a blimp, a stuttering simp
The Cheeto Chimp! Is in
Replacin the coach cause Mr. Taebo couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that apple pie sure does take the cake
The cake!, don't make me eat that too, my tummy's blue
I told you Mr. Simmons, I can eat you under the table
I guess that'll teach you not to play wit yo food
cuz
It's EDIBLE



[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that D.Q.
Get us some burgers and fries and get on back here
[Paddy] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Paddy] Aight
Yo Paddy
[Paddy] What?!
Don't forget the salt this time
[Paddy] Awwright... (Just cuz I eat everthin...)
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Waitress] HI, how can I help you?
[Paddy] Yeah I need a coupla burgers, an some fries
[Waitress] Okay
[Paddy] Oh, don't forget some salt too
[Waitress] What? Oh I think we're out of salt...
[Paddy] Hey, we really need the salt, cud u check around?
[Waitress] Chill buddy, chill I'm checkin
[Paddy] I sure hope u got some, fries no good wi out em
[Waitress] Yeah, here you go!... That'll be $5.75
[Paddy] Thanks, here's $6.00, keep the change
[Waitress] (under her breath) Anutha big tippa *sigh*

All-you-can-eat Buffet's and barbecues are my style
So when Ima get hungry, I'll stay a while
I eat it in a pile
I gotta lotta bile
And if I gotta stand in file
I'll wait for five minutes
Come back, squeeze in line
And then I'll get to the front of that line
Eatin steaks and sausages, all kinds of meats
It aint a trick, for me it's a treat
If I'm out of luck, I'd eat some nuts
If they're out of nuts, I'll eat some duck!
Your chicken fried steaks ain't big enough
To fill up this gut of mine, So take your time
Cook up all you want and what you will
I've got plenty of room and some time to kill
I'll eat it all wetha it's good or swill
To gross you out, to make you sick
It's my life baby, it makes me tick
So make room for a fatty, like momma Cass
Look out now, I think I've got gas!

It's EDIBLE
Cuz every time I eat, they think it's all so neat
cuz I like my beets - Yeah they're EDIBLE
I don't gotta say a word, though it seems absurd
Hey would you pass that bird, I eat it all cuz..
It's EDIBLE
Cuz every time I eat, they think it's all so neat
cuz I like my beets - Yeah they're EDIBLE
I don't gotta say a word, though it seems absurd
Hey would you pass that bird, I eat it all cuz..
It's EDIBLE
Cuz every time I eat, they think it's all so neat
cuz I like my beets - Yeah they're EDIBLE
I don't gotta say a word, though it seems absurd
Hey would you pass that bird, I eat it all cuz..
It's EDIBLE
Cuz every time I eat, they think it's all so neat
cuz I like my beets - Yeah they're EDIBLE
I don't gotta say a word, though it seems absurd
Hey would you pass that bird, I eat it all cuz..
It's EDIBLE
(*Juicy Fart Noise*at THE-END)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 6
 7
 
 2   2
 3
 2
 
 3   6
 3
 4
 
 4   4
 6
 5
 
 5   11
 12
 12
 

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