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Song Parodies -> "Like 'Zoinks!' I Am"

Original Song Title:

"The Way I Am"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Like 'Zoinks!' I Am"

Parody Written by:

Steve Worek

The Lyrics

A Scooby-Doo based parody, recently updated in light of the 2nd movie. It's a constantly evolving work in progress, but I'm quite proud of it... The version I copy-and-pasted has things spelled out how one would say them to make the song flow smoother, hence words like "myst'ry". Enjoy!
I sit back with this bag of Scoob snacks and this gang
They all give me just the courage needed to be
Part of the best team that will solve your mysteries
And since birth I've been cursed with the curse to wimp out
And without a doubt it's this real hoarse voice that works
And it sells and it helps in familiarity
In this celebrity that is known as me
I'm Norville Rogers but they all call me Shaggy
Here with Fred, Scooby Doo, also Velma and Daphne
At least have the decency in you
To leave me alone if you might be a spook or a demon
'Cause me and Scooby Doo will sure run off screaming
'Cause those three can do it, but we're the two chickens
And all of the running and scaring just sickens
Me and my great dane, you know Scooby's his name
And whether we're in a cave, a house, or the plains
There is always a myst'ry that needs to be solved
And of course Mystery Inc. has to get involved
Now Warner Bros. has made another movie
Meanwhile casting some really bad actor as me
And I just can't stand all the publicity
On the Cartoon Network and the WB
I went from a teen sleuth to a celebrity
And everyone just wants a piece of ol' Shaggy

And I "zoinks!" just because I always "zoinks!"
I'm Shaggy, and Shaggy always "zoinks!"
If I was Velma, I'd say "jinkies" instead of "zoinks!"
But I'm Shaggy, and I always "zoinks!"
I "zoinks!" just because I always "zoinks!"
I'm Shaggy, and Shaggy always "zoinks!"
If I was Velma, I'd say "jinkies" instead of "zoinks!"
But I'm Shaggy, and I always say "zoinks!"

Sometimes people call me a chicken
Because I'm always afraid me and Scoob'll take a lickin'
And the monsters, well, it's always on us they're pickin'
When I'd rather be in the Myst'ry Van kickin'
Those three always make us two go on our own
Just because me and Scooby are the most known
For 35 years, been dragged into this stuff
Though I know the ghouls aren't real, and it's just a bluff
But we run and we run, and it's not very fun
And we hide so the monsters won't beat our backsides
And we get scared when we hear a crash or a bang
But enough about me, here's the rest of the gang
Velma, she's smart, sometimes loses her glasses
Called nerdy but she's really sweet as molasses
And Daphne, she's Fred's girl, the prettiest one
She actually thinks mystery solving is fun
Plus there's Fred with his trademark white shirt and that tie
He's so full of himself but no one knows why
Finally, there's Scoobert, but we call him Scooby Doo
Likes Scooby snacks but not his annoying nephew

I "zoinks!" just because I always "zoinks!"
I'm Shaggy, and Shaggy always "zoinks!"
If I was Velma, I'd say "jinkies" instead of "zoinks!"
But I'm Shaggy, and I always say "zoinks!"
I "zoinks!" just because I always "zoinks!"
I'm Shaggy, and Shaggy always "zoinks!"
If I was Velma, I'd say "jinkies" instead of "zoinks!"
But I'm Shaggy, and I always say "zoinks!"

His nephew was Scrappy, but really he's crappy
We tried to avoid him, finding us 'twas snappy
When we threw him out, well we sure weren't hurt
'Cause he just took a whiz over Daphne's new shirt
Sometimes I get jealous the rest are so smart
In mystery solving they're state of the art
And once, just once, I'd like myself to find a clue
But the only ones I find are with Scooby Doo
I go out in public and just for a laugh
A kid'll come up to me wanting an autograph
But meanwhile his friend will sneak up behind me
Knowing that if he scares me happy he'll be
And I'm sick and tired of the stereotypes
Being called a chicken and a scaredy-cat, it kind of bites
I live on the road in that psychedelic van
And sometimes me and Scoob wanna go for a tan
But I guess I'll just keep going with my best friends
'Cause the ghouls ghosts and demons and spooks never end
We'll go down in hist'ry as the best monster dodgers
But for now I'm gonna just stay Shaggy Rogers

'Cause I "zoinks!" just because I always "zoinks!"
I'm Shaggy, and Shaggy always "zoinks!"
If I was Velma, I'd say "jinkies" instead of "zoinks!"
But I'm Shaggy, and I always say "zoinks!"
I "zoinks!" just because I always "zoinks!"
I'm Shaggy, and Shaggy always "zoinks!"
If I was Velma, I'd say "jinkies" instead of "zoinks!"
But I'm Shaggy, and I always say "zoinks!"
Thanks for reading, I'm at if you want to drop me a line!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Zoinkarrific rhyming, but butt ugly timing. The Way I Am has lots of pauses at the end of sentences that don't show through here.
EmiLoca - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Please take no offense. The timing may be butt ugly and the lyrics may be a bit scary, but rip off the mask and it's just another guy trying to prove himself. Sorry to be the meddling kid in this case, but as this is your first parody, severe lenience is in order. Good job.
The Thought Police - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with Jake -this could have been a PERFECT parody if not for the timing.I disagree with the line in the song that says that Warner Bros. casted a bad actor to play Shaggy in the movie because Matthew Lillard played that role perfectly in both the movie and the sequel. OTOH,I do give you credit for tackling an Eminiem song, mainly because his stuff seems to be really hard to keep funny and true to the original( see "Fan",parody of "Stan",for an example of one of the funniest!)2,4,4.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks 'The Thought Police', but my actual name is Luke Brattoni. The 'Jake A Ralphing', if you haven't yet noticed, is a parody on 'JK Rowling'. I did 250,000 words worth of parodies on her first three books before bloody Michael Gerber came along, so now I have no market for my ingenious literature! I'll email them to anyone interested. Contactez moi (That should be a, but for some reason it only works
Steve Worek - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks...yeah, the timing is poor, I know - I'm going to redo it and match "The Way I Am" syllable-by-syllable. Keep watching here, I'll have the new version up soon!
bc - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
that was the best parodied song i ever hured. i was bored so i just started typing this

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