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Song Parodies -> "Callista"

Original Song Title:

"Stan"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Callista"

Parody Written by:

Deron Ginn

The Lyrics

My TV show's gone, I'm wonderin why
It got canceled after five
David Kelley knocked on my window
Said we aint doin the show no mo
If we got picked up on CBS
I'd be happy as hell
The Ratings slided
Cause Robert Downey's in jail, Robert Downey's in jail

My TV show's gone, I'm wonderin why
It got canceled after five
David Kelley knocked on my window
Said we aint doin the show no mo
If we got picked up on CBS
I'd be happy as hell
Rating slided
Cause Robert Downey's in jail, Robert Downey's in jail

Dear F-O-X
You recently canceled my TV show
To get replaced by American Embassy, I don't hope so
Getting released is just a bummer, it aint even summer
Now I don't have any money to buy my 4-Runner
What's up FOX? Where'd we fail, tell me please
If I don't know- I might join Will and Grace on NBC
I always found myself looking thin most of my time
Looks like bad dieting screws me up over time
Anyways, forget about that man, I just wanna explanation
When ya brought in Jon Bon Jovi, I knew what we were facing
I think we deserved more- we worked day and night
Trying to compare us to CSI? It's not right
Hey, what about my lesbian kiss with Lucy Liu, brother
I had to go through a lot of stuff, acting undercover
Anyway, please write back sayin' why you just dissed us
If you don't- I'LL write back
This is Callista

My TV show's gone, I'm wonderin why
It got canceled after five
David Kelley knocked on my window
Said we aint doin the show no mo
If we got picked up on CBS
I'd be happy as hell
Rating slided
Cause Robert Downey's in jail, Robert Downey's in jail


Hey you, you didn't write back with the reason
I sent the letter in spring, now it's mid-season
I waited by the mail box for 30 days
Just sittin' and waitin', almost gettin' in a craze
Good rating every week that fell on the mat
I think ya messed up when you fired that one cat
I told you I would write back if I had it in me
If you got another- email me- ring me!
Taye Diggs thinks I'm crazy cause I talk about it all the time
He says he's gettin other work,so he's doing fine
Please- I need a reply by the 10th of May
That's the countdown to go, less than five days
Oh of course- you don't remember when my show goes off
During rehearsal, I thinks I'ma just walk off
Please say this is true, if it was it'd be the biz that dissed us
Please write back soon
This is once again Callista

My TV show's gone, I'm wonderin why
It got canceled after five
David Kelley knocked on my window
Said we aint doin the show no mo
If we got picked up on CBS
I'd be happy as hell
Rating slided
Cause Robert Downey's in jail, Robert Downey's in jail

Dear Mr I-Don't-write-to-the-people-who-were-always-part-of-the-cast
This'll be the last time I ever send your ass
It's cancel time and still no word? Not even an e-mail
If I cant get no work- my career will go to hell?
I'm glad Ally McBeal is over- it was only temporary
But now I have to find another show to carry
I don't know what you're doing, you're playing mind tricks
You always lied, said we were signed for six
Did I say something wrong? Did we do something incorrect?
In the third year: I think we should've brought in Teck ($)
Or all the above? Am I a White failure
Well, at the moment, I'm cleaning out my trailer
In The back of this truck, there's a lot of script paper
I think it's to write my new lawyer caper
Cause in the end, this show will be over
I knew that I couldn't carry this show on my shoulders
In 2002, I think I'm gonna get some rest
How can I figure out how to inflate my breast?
I'm hanging in the shower, barfin a ham
For future TV execs- I don't give a damn
My career is so shoddy, you can see right through
Even with a good show, you couldn't renew it
Which is why, before I leave, I checked through the system
I hope the execs didn't accidentally miss us
At first when you said it, it caught me by surprise
But I see why it's canceled, we've only got as high as NO. 9
We won't be able to compete with ABC
Or stay up in the ratings with NBC
I hate you, Dave, hate to say this to ta
Truly your's a huge enemy, this is Callista
(Wait a minute, This isn't going anywhere near Rockefeller Center
What's that we're approaching? What the heck, UPN?)
(Hip-hop music starts)

My TV show's gone, I'm wonderin why
It got canceled after five
David Kelley knocked on my window
Said we aint doin the show no mo
If we got picked up on CBS
I'd be happy as hell
Rating slided
Cause Robert Downey's in jail, Robert Downey's in jail

Dear "Callista", I meant to right back soon, I've been on vacation
What's this about your show's sudden cancellation?
I'm afraid I don't control the shows, I make them
Since your not coming back for season six, join the View
It seems like the ideal new job for you
Some year* Nine's this year, you made it to NO #2
You shouldn't get upset** about a stupid thing like that
(And you should start getting dramatic roles down pat)
I know why you got cancelled, the show had no fire
By season three, the show was on the wire
And I'm afraid that the network didn't think it was going far
Or that the show didn't have enough stars
There was this one girl, that was not ready for the end
The police found her body scattered at the back of UPN
There was a letter, where she was writing to someone angrily
Come to think about it...the person he was writing to...it was me.
Man.


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Pacing: 2.2
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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 4   1
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