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Song Parodies -> "Football Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Stan"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Football Fan"

Parody Written by:

S.T.G.

The Lyrics

My beer's gone warm,
I'm wonderin' why I'm.
Even in my old couch.
The morning game starts at 12 o clock.
Or was it at 1 PM?
And if I make it there,
To the Packers game,
I expect them all to lose.
It's all won for the Chicago Bear, love the bears.
My beer's gone warm,
I'm wonderin' why I'm.
Even in my old couch.
The morning game starts at 12 o clock.
Or was that 1 PM.
And if I make it there,
To the Packers game,
I expect them to lose.
It's all won for the Chicago Bear, love the bears.

Name's Jim,
I wanted to see the game down in Wisconsin.
I left my wife, my kids, my dog, just to be with em'.
I went two times last autumn.
You coulda' shoulda' seen em'.
It was probably a problem at the cable company, or something.
Sometimes I scream to loud, when I want 'em.
But anyways forget it, right now, it's fourth quater.
I know you probably know this already, cuz' you already saw the third quarter.
If I was a player, Guess what I would say, sir.
I'ma say "Go Miami".
I heard about your friend, Randy, I'm so sorry, dude.
My best buddy took a sac that killed him quick, too.
I know you know this already,
But I'm a football fan.
I've got a picture of Payton plastered to my frying pan.
I got a room full of football posters, and football cards, man.
I like that interception you pulled on Miami, too, that was phat.
Anyways, I hope you receive this fax,
Fax me back.
Sincerely yours,
A football slim,
Named Jim.

My beer's gone warm,
I'm wonderin' why I'm.
Even in my old couch.
The morning game starts at 12 o clock.
Or was that 1 PM.
And if I make it there,
To the Packers game,
I expect them to lose.
It's all won for the Chicago Bear, love the bears.

It's Jim,
You still haven't faxed my back,
Hope you have a chance.
It's not a prob,
I just think it's messed you ain't take tips from fans.
If you didn't make that blitz,
Like I told you to.
You could easily got the pigskin from Matthew.
Yes, that's some player,
Who's played 6 whole years.
Who's played like a champ,
For Denver Broncos, now he just got canned.
That's pretty crappy man,
He's like a freakin' idol.
He used to a football fan,
Now he is just like you.
I ain't that mad,
Though I don't like seeing you cry, too.
Remember back in Denver,
You said if you make the goal,
You would come back.
See I'm just like you in a way.
I never knew Chicago made the Superbowl neither.
I never knew they even won it, either.
I relate to what you're doing in your dance.
So when you make another goal,
I jump right into the chance.
Cause I really don't have stuff else, cuz' that stuff helps when I'm
depressed.
I got the all the players' names on a tattoo across my chest.
I even bruise myself,
To prepare myself for pain.
It's like adrenaline,
I especially love to play some football in the rain.
See all of football's real,
And I respect you,
Cuz' you play it.
My wife is jealous,
Cuz' I talk about it 24/7.
But she don't know the plot of the game, no one does.
She doesn't know how hard,
It was like for freaks like us to play ball.
You gotta page me man, I'll be the football fan with all the news.
Sincerely yours,
Jim, PS-We should play some football too.

My beer's gone warm,
I'm wonderin' why I'm.
Even in my old couch.
The morning game starts at 12 o clock.
Or was that 1 PM.
And if I make it there,
To the Packers game,
I expect them to lose.
It's all won for the Chicago Bear, love the bears.

Dear Mister:
I'm to good to fax my fan.
This'll be the last song I'll send your ass.
I've seen all your lousy games, I don't deserve it.
I know you got my last two faxes,
I typed the fax numbers on them perfect.
So this is my fax I'm sending you,
I hope you hear it.
I'm in the Soldier Stadium.
I'm lighting fire on the bench seat.
Hey Cade, I just jacked the fire with gasoline.
Dare me to light?
You know that song by Beastie Boys "We Gotta Fight",
About those rebellious kids who just wanted to party,
But couldn't? But then they took right over, and had a the party.
That's kinda how this is, I could destroy the stadium and me.
Now it's too late, I'm on a buzz of marijuana, and it's confusing.
And all I wanted was an autograph, or a game.
Ya' know on the frying pan I scribbled out Payton's name.
I love you Cade, we coulda' played together think about it.
You fumbled the ball, I hope you can't sleep without it.
And when you sleep I want you to sleep all alone without me.
I hope the rest of the Bears beat you, instead of me, ya' get it?
See Cade, {guy screaming}Shut up, Curtis I'm trying to talk.
Hey Cade, that's Curtis Conway in some trunk.
But I didn't lock him in, see I ain't like Slim.
Causa if he tries to get out,
I'll kick his butt, but then I'll die too.
Well, gotta go, the gasoline can's almost out.
Oh crap, I forgot, How can I fax this crap out?
{sound of fire blazing and screams of Curtis Conway and Jim fade away}

My beer's gone warm,
I'm wonderin' why I'm.
Even in my old couch.
The morning game starts at 12 o clock.
Or was that 1 PM.
And if I make it there,
To the Packers game,
I expect them to lose.
It's all won for the Chicago Bear, love the bears.

Dear Jim:
I meant to fax you sooner,
But I just been busy.
You said you got a Payton autograph,
Could you fax it to me?
Look I'm really flattered, how much you are a football fan.
Here an autograph straight from Matthew,
It's right on the football cap.
I'm sorry if I fumbled the ball, must have rained.
But please don't intentionally talk to me about your pain.
What's that how you like to dance just like I do?
I take dance lessons for that crap, how messed up is you?
You got some issues Jim, I think you need some counceling.
To help you from dance like a goof, when I make a touchdown.
And what's this crap about us meant to play together.
That type of crap makes me not want to play pigskin together.
I really you and your family need each other.
Or maybe you just need to treat them better.
I hope I faxed out all the letter.
I just hope it reaches you in time.
Before you hurt some kid,
Slam his head into the goal line.
Please just relax alittle, I'm glad I inspire you,
But Jim,
Why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan.
I just don't you to do some crazy crap.
I seen this one thing that happen to a fan and Curtis that made me sick.
Curtis was stuffed in a trunk, and the stadium was lit on fire.
The guy was going so psychotic,
He didn't know what fuse he lit.
And by the trunk they found a letter.
I didn't who it was to.
Wait a minute.
It was to me, from you.
Damn!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 82

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   19
 18
 16
 
 2   3
 4
 3
 
 3   5
 8
 8
 
 4   17
 13
 15
 
 5   38
 39
 40
 

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