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Song Parodies -> "I'll Be (In The Nursing Home)"

Original Song Title:

"I'll Be"

Original Performer:

Edwin McCain

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Be (In The Nursing Home)"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Last weekend, an 81-year-old and and 89-year-old--who had been childhood friends--reunited in a nursing home and were married. This song is for them. And does anyone else find Edwin McCain extremely annoying?
I'll Be (In the Nursing Home)

The veins in your thighs
So varicose-colorful
Blotchy and deep blue and red
Pillows piled in mountains
Under your sides
Cleverly cradling your head

Dwell we in nursing home together
Messin' up
With the crappings of blood
You'll be constipated
I'll bring laxatives
And set up the IV with fluid
That hangs full of drugs

I'll be your wheelchair roller
I'll be the bedpan at your side
I'll be fatter when I'm older
I'll be the grayest man in your life

Pain pills for breakfast, jello and juice,
Stare at TV from your bed
Call it survival
Call it living through
Anguish and life before death

Dwell we in nursing home together
Messin' up
With the crappings of blood
You'll be constipated
I'll bring laxatives
And set up the IV with fluid
That hangs full of drugs

I'll be your dentures holder
I'll be your Gray Panther pride
I'll be older when you're older
I'll be the frailest man in your life

You've been hooked up, plugged in,
Carved up till you were half dead

Probed at, pumped out,
Besides intravenously fed

I'll be your adult diaper
I'll be tissue triple-plied
I'll be your *sshole wiper
I'll be the painless bran in your life

I'll be your respirator
I won't be assisted suicide
I'll be your defibrillator
I'll be the oldest man in your life
The grayest man in your life
ęBob Gomez 2003

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   26

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - April 23, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm not familiar with the original song, but your lyrics are great--I hope those people that got married have it just a little better, though.
Billy Florio - April 23, 2003 - Report this comment
I must say Bob, your parodies keep on getting better and better
Bob Gomez - April 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. But be careful with this song. I sang it to my mother-in-law and she laughed so hard she died. d;:^)
Dan - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Bob Gomez is annoying, not Edwin.
BoB Gomez - February 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm sorry you feel that way, Dan. I tried my best to make a good parody of this late 90's song; I'm sorry you don't like it. Based on your comment, I think you might have given me the one's vote.
lynman - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
i was thinking to write a parody like this one. Nice one and you using a lot of visuals here.

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