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Song Parodies -> "Opening Band"

Original Song Title:

"Through The Fire And Flames"

Original Performer:

Dragonforce

Parody Song Title:

"Opening Band"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

Ever go to a rock concert where the opening band just stinks on ice...and won't get off the stage!? No? Well, this is what it's like. Everything in quotes is from the lead singer of the fictional heavy metal band Eternal Pain, Ian St. Ian. Original Song
“How are you all this ev’ning!?
You ready to rock tonight!?
This is my band, Eternal Pain
We’re opening tonight!

Been to clubs all over this town
You’re our biggest crowd all right!
We know you’re here for Silence Falls
Who close the show tonight

Starting hard, our first song, man it wails
We got paid a hundred bucks
The club owner said ‘What the hell…
Thirty minutes, not one more!’”

Then we start our playin’ some strings break,
Our drummer can’t keep time…
So then I scream, high as my voice can gooooo…

So then I look out and see
Folks leave before we end this song
Those who stayed are really pissed
Still we will play on

“Our next song’s a cover
Everyone likes Styx, right?”
As soon as we start, crowd starts to thrrooowww

Things at my face
But still we must play-e-ay
And the poor crowd, their patience is gone
They writhe in pain, still have time
“Man, jam out on that bass!
We are Eternal Pain, still we play on!”

(painful guitar solo)

“Please go out, buy our album
Called “When Lightning Cracks the Sky”
Got nineteen songs
Over two hours long
But we’ll play them all now, live!

Now we’ll play something you know alright,
Here’s a song by Silence Falls
They’re here later tonight, because they’re the band
You all came out to applaud”

So we play and scream, we see no need
To end at the right time
Start hour three, they’re loving us alright!

[Newspaper review]
And the guitar solo screeched, the keyboards play on, horribly
Crowd growing in aggravation, they’re not having fun
Cymbals crash at wrong times, singers voice still too high!
Shoo them away, this misery still goes on.

And still they played, waiting to be paid
Crowd throws cash so they’d pack up and go
We feel the pain of a lifetime, and then the singer says:
“We are Eternal Pain, here all night long!”

(horrible solo)

[Crowd]
Booo-ooo-ooo
Booo-ooo-ooo,
Oo-oo-oo-ooh noooo
Booo-ooo-ooo,
Booo-ooo-ooo,
Oo-oo-oo-ooh noooo

(solo continues)

(…and continues some more…)

(third guitar player gets a solo too because he drives the van)

“We thank you all, we’re the opening band…”
The crowd goes wild, ‘cause they prayed it would end!
“You want some more? An encore? If you want one, we can…
Silence Falls, just wait for a sec…”

[Newspaper Review]
Crowd goes away, they’ve been there all day-e-ay
Get a fire hose to blast them right off!
‘Eternal Pain’…should have seen it from a mile away…
And the opening band continued on!

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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 5   2
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User Comments

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Matthias - July 16, 2013 - Report this comment
I hope this isn't you actual review of Dragonforce because they freakin' rock! I'm kinda bummed that I forgot about them when we picking out artists for Artistry 2. Oh well... I guess there's always Artistry 3.

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