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Song Parodies -> "Things I've Hurled"

Original Song Title:

"Goodbye Earl"

Original Performer:

Dixie Chicks

Parody Song Title:

"Things I've Hurled"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This guy wishes he only had carrots that he never ate in his sick...
It's never too pleasant when your gut upends
Cause of somethin' you a-ate
The things that have escaped my gut
Absolutely no sense, they make
I can understand all the pieces of trout
Floatin' around, what's absu-urd
Is the inexplica-able towel
Why-y is that i-in my-y hurl?

What's this can that I see? Looks like food for kitties
I-I'm pretty sure I never consu-umed
And even so, wouldn't eat the can, madness
But there's more, take a closer view
I'm not tryna be a jerk, weird stuff by the score
Hang on, how'd my remote get the-ere?
My hu-url must have access to a transporter, man
I didn't eat one, I-I swear

Lumps of cake and an u-unpee-eeled bunch of bananas
Somethin' he-ere that's not qui-uite right
A bi-ig fryin' pa-an and some poor guy named Da-an
He looks freaked out but I'm sure he'll be fine

My hu-url isn't right (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)
Thi-ings I've hurled (na-na-a-na)
Come out of me-e-e (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)
Still intact amongst the freed hurl (na-na-a-na)
A chicken's beak (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)?
Makes me worried when I set free hurl (na-na-a-na)
Pile of bark (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)?
This is plain bizarre hurl (na-na-a-na)

You'd think I'd just keep my-y hurl in
I've tried that before, should kno-ow
I looked li-ike a hamster with my-y cheeks burstin'
With junk, I had to let it all go
As each barf goes by, add wha-at I've discovered
To the-e fancy shelves I've insta-alled
Got a bi-ig ol' plaque readin' "Stu-uff Found Lurkin'
Inside Me, Come One, Co-ome All"

I've yet to understa-and how I hold this cra-ap
Despite the small space i-inside
Could be-e TARDIS-type cra-ap, magic'lly hija-acked
Could explai-ain the tank I puked la-ast night

My hu-url isn't right (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)
Thi-ings I've hurled (na-na-a-na)
A giant snake (na-a-a-a)?
One more reason to hate hurl (na-na-a-na)
A Kenworth truck (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)?
Never had that for my lunch, hurl (na-na-a-na)
Fish that's still ali-ive (na-na-na-na-na-a-a-a)?
That's more on the normal side, hu-url, lame (na-na-a-na)
Well, hey hey he-ey (na-na-a-na)
Ah, hey hey he-ey (na-na-a-na)
Well, hey hey he-ey (na-na-a-na)

My headcanon: the cops in the original song knew that Mary-Anne and Wanda murdered Earl, but let them get away with it because they knew Earl was a Grade-A douchenozzle.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   4

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Jonathan - May 24, 2016 - Report this comment
yeah that theory about the cops knowing the girls killed Earl makes sense I'd certainly let them get away with it considering the circumstances btw interesting piece of trivia for you songwriter Dennis Linde who wrote the original song also wrote a song called "Queen Of My Double Wide Trailer" for Sammy Kershaw in the video here: < about 1 minute and 18 seconds in a dude named Earl is mentioned in the song's lyrics it's been confirmed that the Earl from this song and the Earl in Sammy's song were one and the same! pretty kooky huh? 5's

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