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Song Parodies -> "Walk Lard"

Original Song Title:

"Walk Hard"

Original Performer:

Dewey Cox

Parody Song Title:

"Walk Lard"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Of all the things that happened to Dewey (played by John C. Reilly) in the film of the same title, at least he didn't get as fat as Elvis, or as bald as James Taylor. Van Morrison did both.
Walk lard.
She eats
rocky road.

Walk lard.
She is quite
the load.

She's been sworn and slandered and ridiculed, too.
She'd been chomping every day, her whole life through.
Seen her share of the food that this world can give
and I don't know how much longer she will manage to live!

Walk lard.
Will not say
she's all done.

Walk lard.
Though she weighs
three hundred one.

Even though she's been told time and time again
that she'll always be fat and never gonna be thin
she will keep that dinner in her mind's eye
and she's standing on top of those thunder thighs!

You know, when I was a boy
folks used to say to me
"Watch it, Michael, she'll be like lard!"
And I used to tell them
She ain't fat now, why would she be then?
But they were right, and so now, tell me please?
What has she got, boys?

When she meets her baker on the frying day
gonna look him in the eye, and, by God, she'll say
"I'll eat that stuff and the stuff, it was good!"
She had a pretty face and I loved her as hard as I could!

Walk lard!
Walk lard!
Walk lard!
Walk lard!
"Walk Hard" would've been a really good movie if they cut back on the... Lemme rephrase that... if they had fewer skin scenes. The music was terrific, and totally period-believable. But... Jack White as Elvis? Frankie Muniz as Buddy Holly? And if Paul McCartney looked like Jack Black, you really think Heather Mills would've married him, even with all that money?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MrMacphisto - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Tim Meadows is hilarious from that movie... "It's the cheapest high you can get!" Great job... 5-5-5
Jack Wilson - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
HILARIOUS movie, awesome OS, awesome parody,you gets 5s!

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