On lonely nights, I sleep without my shower sometimes
You might think, 'man I bet he smells like sludge'
The thing I wanna do is get rid of this slime
Cuz after that I'll taste like chocolate fudge!

Though I've tried Johnsons & Johnsons,
I've never touched Pantene
Maybe I need L'Oreal
Hope my grime it will conceal

I'm just a guy who is lost without shampoo
I think I'm gonna die
Stinking more than the dirtiest zoos
I need to get rid of my grime!
If I ever get a job at all or if I decide to head down to the mall
Dunno which to choose... Oh so many different shampoos!
I'll have to stick to my Rejoice, but all I know is I need real shampoo
All I can do is whine all day, oh how I need my shampoo...

How am I ever gonna get rid of this tattoo?
Maybe, it'll just come off over time...
I can't believe I'm covered all over in goo
This really blows, it's not at all sublime...

If only there were other alternatives,
Like Neutrogena for men
To dandruff I wanna say goodbye
I need an endless supply... (of)

Shampoo oh won't you just give me shampoo?
I really need it today!
I've got a hot date in 30 minutes
Cleansing is what I crave...
If I do not shower now it could be the end of my relationship with her...
Oh you've ruined my life... I would rather have cooties
This week I spent all my pay, on something useless instead of my shampoo
It didn't really make my day, I would rather have shampoo...

If only I had 40 bucks
Then I could just relax today
Forget about shampoo
And just live my way, oh!

I'm just a guy who is lost without shampoo
I think I'm gonna die
Stinking more than the dirtiest zoos
I need to get rid of my grime!
If I ever get a job at all or if I decide to head down to the mall
Dunno which to choose... Oh so many different shampoos!
I'll have to stick to my Rejoice, but all I know is I need real shampoo
All I can do is whine all day, oh how I need my shampoo...

Shampoo oh won't you just give me shampoo?
I really need it today!
I've got a hot date in 30 minutes
Cleansing is what I crave...
If I do not shower now it could be the end of my relationship with her...
Oh you've ruined my life... I would rather have cooties
This week I spent all my pay, on something useless instead of my shampoo
It didn't really make my day, I would rather have shampoo...