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Song Parodies -> "Sexy Beast"

Original Song Title:

"Sexy B**ch"

Original Performer:

David Guetta featuring Akon

Parody Song Title:

"Sexy Beast"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Yeah, I probably should have released this in, oh I don't know--October--but hey, I am into Halloween the way most are into Christmas, I love horror, fear, and fun. . .and Halloween adds candy into the mix--what's not to love. I'm at badave.com
Yes, I can see it
'Cause every Vampire wants to be it
Oh, and it is so fit
It has no name, and it's hard to stop it

The way it's horn sounds
It's just a tactic, and I won't be leaving
They say it makes adults frown
Even the Werewolves back down

It's nothing like a scare you've ever had before
No Skeleton compares to the fear it entows
I'm tryna find the fright to describe this beast
Without being too distasteful

The way that it is chowing on humans is gore
Have to watch when I'm peeking cause it might sense if I'm close
I don't want to be killed by the paws of this beast
so I must make my love subtle

Damn, Thing
Damn, you's a sexy beast. a sexy beast
Damn, you's a sexy beast, damn, thing
Damn, you's a sexy beast, a sexy beast
Damn, you's a sexy beast, damn, thing

Think it can see me
Or maybe it just hears me singing
Oh, I see it's teeth
It looks my way, and it wants to eat me

It grumbles low now
I see it coming so I'd best be running
I can't stop staring it down
It may bash me in the ground

It picked me up like I was weightless and short
It doesn't even bother with simplified torts
but then to my surprise it threw me in a bed
and it handed me a moist towel

The fire in its eyes lit up, that's for sure
and then it ripped off every inch of my clothes
Its then I fell in love with the beast although
I think that it smell quite awful

Damn, thing
Damn, you's a sexy beast. a sexy beast
Damn, you's a sexy beast, damn, thing
Damn, you's a sexy beast, a sexy beast
Damn, you's a sexy beast, damn, thing

Damn, you's a sexy beast. a sexy beast
Damn, you's a sexy beast, damn, thing
Damn, you's a sexy beast, a sexy beast
Damn, you's a sexy beast, damn, thing
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   2
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User Comments

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Matthias - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
I was picturing this as what goes on behind the castle walls in the Disnex film Beauty and the Beast while all the furniture watches in disgust of the multiple disgusting sex acts that occur. Of course that may be just my sick and depraved sense of humor.
Below Average Dave - December 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Well Matty, if it is just your sense of humor, you aren't alone in it as that was, interestingly enough, not that dissimilar from the Monster Inc imagery that inspired the parody:)

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