It's seven o' clock and he's there at your door
He was supposed to be there at four
He must have bathed in a tub of cologne
He spend the entire time on the phone
Talking with some other girl

He's missing the floor inside of his car
He kept showing off his surgery scar
He made you go dutch everywhere
Then borrowed your money to pay his share
You felt like dialing 9-1-1

'Cause you had a bad date
He just couldn't dance
He spilled hot soup all over your pants
He told you he enjoys
Being a peeping tom
He kept accidentally calling you 'mom'
You had a bad date
He talked a whole lot
About how he thinks your sister's so hot
You had a bad date
You had a bad date

He thought he'd impress you with the way
He talked in Klingon the entire day
And he could use some Listerine

You had a bad date
He wore dirty clothes
You could probably braid the hairs from his nose
His under arm scent
Packed quite a punch
You look at his smile and could see his lunch
You had a bad date
You were just thrilled
To learn which motherboards are the top billed
You had a bad date
You had a bad date

At least he matched his pants with his shirt- both orange plaid from the Gap
He went on a rambling tirade on how the Nazis get a bad rap
A classy chap

Your friends all talked like he was some kind of king
You realize
That being set up can mean two different things

'Cause you had a bad date
He made stupid puns
He screamed at the waitress and a couple of nuns
You found out he's broke
Out of prison that day
He said you're a lot like his fiancee
You had a bad date
You've seen what he's like
You'll just go out with him one more time
You had a bad date
You had a bad date
You had a bad date