The phone rings at midnight and you pick it up
They say they're calling about your lost pup
They tell you their Rotweiler chewed its neck
You drop the receiver feeling wrecked
And you think your suffering is done

You get on the freeway and run out of gas
You're totally drenched by the cars that pass
You get home from work and check voice mail
And 200 "urgents" on e-mail
And you see the suffering's just begun

'Cause you had a bad day
Your cousin got shot
Your sister's found dead in a parking lot
Your daughter had sex
With the football team
Your country is ruled by a fascist regime
Your whole boyscout troop
Has been sodomized
By the Detroit Pistons in disguise
But what can I say?
You had a bad day

When you need some tranq's A.S.A.P.
You find out the drug store's upped its fee
To $58.50 just for one

You had a bad day
Your grandma's got AIDS
You're out of her will as her memory fades
You missed P.M.S.
Or can't get erect
You hear on the news that bird flu can infect
Your brother turned gay
Your cancer's come back
Your fiance just OD'ed on crack
But what can I say?
You had a bad day

Sometimes I take some deep breaths and imagine that everything's
Fine
But then I come to reality and see the horror is
Mine
Ain't that divine?

You lay in the bed and you're watching the clock
10:39
When you hear from the door a series of knocks

Well it's the CIA
They're taking you down
To Guantanamo - tortuous renown
They say you're guilty
And then you get shocked
10,000 volts and your body's rocked
You hear the bells chime
From the clock tower
You've finally reached the twenty-fourth hour
It isn't cliche
It's all I can say
You had a bad day