Up!
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya,
Dhalsim!
Jedi!

Goombas!
Warlocks,
Metroids!
Mew - two,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,
Koopas!
Diglett,
Pac-Man!
Shy - Guy,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,

Yo, if you've a big mouth and you finally make it out,
To skate in LA and win a contest, proud,
(You just won!),
Your friend at the ranch suddenly exists again and got cuffed,
(That's how Iggy got locked up),
You're livin' at home with your grandma,
And your sister got carried away in a bird's claws,
And now you're a pirate on the legality see-saw,
(That's how Link got fired up),
You're drunk one night and you get lost in the rain,
(Don't feel good),
And the king is now ordering for you to be slain,
(Oh no!),
Killing Tediz and zombies just to get home, but you take the throne,
(That's why Conker's life now sucks),
The hag stole your cute little sis and you're off to take out your revenge on this witch,
Collecting puzzle pieces, you're becoming pretty rich,
She's got a game show?
(It's the evil Gruntilda),
Oh, you've got your eye on a girl, your plans,
Are completely ruined, though, by Joe Chin, a real man,
(What am I going to do?),
By the end of the day, you're rapping in front of your fans,
(PaRappa had some good luck),
You're moving to a new town, out to buy a home,
But you have no money, no friends, you're all alone,
But lucky Tom Nook will let you take out a loan,
(K.K. Slider's one mad pup),
Just tending your maze and eating your dots,
When the ghosts came around, it was trouble they sought,
They'd get away but they, at times, turn blue, they're scared of you,
(That's how Blinky got chomped up),
When your agents try to break in the club and steal back Ziegler and his research on the glyph stuff,
Your father gets capped and you're angry now so move over,
(Mess with Agent Perfect Dark),

Samus!
Pico,
Ratchet!
Boo - too,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,
Tidus!
Conker,
Lara!
D - K,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,

Yo, when someone has stolen your banana cache,
And you set out to find who has been tamperin' with your stash,
But your head is being knocked by an old man, you'd better not pass,
(Cranky Kong got DK stuck),
Bein' small's havin' you,
Knowin' not much you can do,
When the dragons are frozen through,
But with some help you could be a hero, too,
(That's how Spyro changed his luck),
Hey! I challenge you!
(But you're only a kid),
Go Charmander!
(Oh put a lid,
On all this talk, you won't win with that level twelve),
(Mew is underneath the truck),
Shoot gays, take drugs and molest hoes,
Steal cars, upgrade and ride on twelve Os,
Jack Thomson wants us rated AO,
(Grand Theft Auto's in a rut),
The plumber's wife is missing, you see,
So you bounce on goombas and head to Bowser's keep,
She's stolen again by the end of the week,
There's a sequel,
(That's how Peach keeps getting snatched up),
Showing up to be praised in full uniform,
While the elders misinterpret ancient cuneiform,
All the sudden you hear that Earth is being stormed,
(Kick the Covenant's big butt),
You're the last female magician and you're being used for the empire's position,
But you're saved but always having weird a premonition,
It turns out that you're a goddess, what's up?
(That's a cliché RPG),
When your sis wasn't raised up right,
And she sits and hates in jealousy as you are sleeping every night,
Then, all of the sudden, she's ready to fight,
Ascend to flight!
(Kameo morphs into stuff),

Hunter!
BloodRayne,
Vito!
Dig - Dug,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,
Misty!
Strider,
Mumbo!
Chi - bi,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,
Banjo!
Bowser,
Zelda!
Yu - na,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks,
Q*Bert!
Daisy,
Yoshi!
Ni - na,
This is how it happens to you,
That's how gamers spend their bucks.