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Song Parodies -> "Crystal's Band"

Original Song Title:

"My Band"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Crystal's Band"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

We don't do drugs, swear this much, hate each other like this, or anything else in this song. This is only for fun. Don't take it seriously. Slight changes from the original. Vote on your favorite verse, why don't you- Apricot, SI-MAE
Vocals- Crystal Shades

I don't know dude,
I think Maya's all angry and s***,
And she's like, taking it out passive-aggressive dude.
And I think, Icy's got a freakin' problem with me dude,
And it's Maya who's making it that way, because...

Nobody even knows the name of my band,
Cause they're too stoned to even see their own hand,
I left a comment, now they think I'm the man,
And that's why I'm the lead singer of my band....

So I'm high one night, log on to AmIRight,
Check the message boards, and they all like,
"They say Crystal's the lead voice, see,
But then why ain't she got just one song, B?"
I'm all like, "Oh my God, they said what?
Who said this? Maya? Oh God, you little sl**,
I swear to freaking God, Ed I just don't see,
But for some reason Maya just hates me.
And right now, you know Maya's getting all jealous,
Cause I can do everything from rap to accapella,
And all the stoners are listening,
All those high dudes,
Light their pipes, and their bongs, and incense to set a mood.
And it's like every single night they cheer and clap for me,
But I can't even remember one melody,
So I just fake it and pray they don't see,
Dude, I don't even have a freakin mic with me.
Yesterday Maya tried to pull a knife on me,
Cause I claimed "I Miss My Horse" was written solo by me,
This singing s*** can go her and Icy,
But I take all the fame and publicity, cause see...

My band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!

Father Edmund: Come on, man! Gimme this mic! Come on!

Vocals- Father Edmund

I don't see the argument here, now do you?
We get it- Maya's mad Crystal stole all her tunes,
Icy and 'Cot, they mad at all of us,
Not my fault they got a busted tour bus!
You don't want my autograph, you's a liar,
And naw, I'm Ed. {Oh, I that you were Maya!}
And what's up with these dudes thinking I'm a girl?
All these sick ba*****s make me wanna hurl,
See I know Music, it's simple, see,
But all I did was watch a little MTV,
So I don't sing, I rap,
Now I'm bustin caps,
Try'n to hold my gun, and getting shot in my back!

Vocals- Everyone's Favorite Couple- Icy and Maya!

Maya: Look at 'Cot, little punk a**, callin' me a b****,
Icy: Yeah, I know, girl, Crystal's been stealing all the flicks,
Maya: Hey, I thought I was supposed to spoof The Sublime tour?
Crystal: No, that was my spoof, not you, w****
Icy: You gon' be late for the bus,
Maya: I ain't gettin on that bus!
Icy: Ours is smallest,
Maya: And Crystal's stuff is the best!
Icy: You know what, girl? I'mmo say somethin'! Ey yo Crys!
Crystal: You got something to say?
Icy: Girl, nothin'!
Maya: Why didn't you say nothin', you afraid to speak?
Icy: Just gimme a minute here, I promise not to freak!
I got a plan now, I just need to rehearse!
Maya: Right, just tell me in the next verse.


Vocals- Icy Does It Solo This Time!

They say I swear a lot, and the group does not,
From Crystal Shades to the Apricot,
I'm gon' let the world know that Icy's hot,
I should b****slap Crystal when the music starts {Hey yo it's *slap sound*}
Ready to snap on whoever say,
"Hey Icy! Dude, I love SI-MAE!
But what's it stand for?"
How the h***'d I know, b****?
You know I'm always stoned, and I'm only clean 10 percent
Of the time, Edmund's stupid every area code,
{Ice, type this spoof!}
B****, type all your own,
Can't make it to my house, d*** groupies in my way.
{Oh My God, It's Icy from that band, SI-MAE!}

Vocals- Apricot

God d*** it, can't take it no more,
Maya, you're a b****, Crystal, you're a w****,
I told you I made the beats, kept cool with thugs,
Till Edmund sold me some drugs!
"Miss My Horse" video? I was in the back,
This song's video? I'mmo be in back,
For AmIRight, I got some suggestions,
F*** Crystal, ax me a question,
Like "When'd you start spoofing?" "How are you inspired?"
{But what about Crystal Shades?} B****, Crystal's a liar.
Anyway, I'm coolest guy in the group,
All the ladies love me, and think that I'm cute.
Eddy told me to do sit-ups and work out,
Did for 2 minutes, and then I passed out!
F*** SI-MAE, It's killed my good mood,
I'm gonna do a duet with that Ralphing dude.

Vocals- Everyone except Crystal this time!

All you dumb Kids, don't you think,
She lies and just lip syncs and she just,
Gets the cash and gives none to us,
Us! The awesome baaaaand!!!

Vocals- Apricot's back!

Nobody even knows the name of my band {ha ha!}
But they're to stoned to even see their own hands {F*** Crystal!}
I just stabbed Crystal, now they know I'm the man! {yeah!}
And that's why I'm the lead singer of my... *laughter*

Vocals- Crystal, Maya, Icy and Apricot

Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our band! Our baaaaaaaaaaaaand!

Apricot: Give it up for the most shot-up parody group in the world! SI-MAE!

Vocals- Crystal's Rich!

I'm the lead singer in SI-MAE,
I rake in the cash and share none with Apricot,
I'm the lead singer in SI-MAE,
My God, it sure as h*** takes a lot, but I'm still rich,
Oh, Look out, cause Crystal's rich and she's hittin' the mall,
Oh, I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich, rich, rich, rich,
It's hard to spoof all of these songs, But I get so rich,
and share none with Apricot,
It's hard to spoof all these songs, But I get so rich,
And share none with Apricot,
My money. {Where'd everybody go?}

Did you enjoy? I know you did. Don't lie. Anyway, contact us at Look out for our next hit singles- a parody of OutKast's "Roses" and a super-secret project Crystal's working on alone. Mr. President for President in 2016! {Mr. President is the band that wrote "Coco Jambo"}

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.9
How Funny: 1.9
Overall Rating: 1.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

B12 - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this reads like one big inside joke. Stick with classics, at least until you develop a rep here, maybe.
Father Edmund - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I'm the only one who doesn't know what "DKTOS" means. Could someone let me know?
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Means "Don't Know The Original Song". Good work on this one. A few pacing errors (then again, it's always hard to do a perfect first read, I'll have to scan it over again) and, surprisingly enough, not SO many inside jokes as to make your audience completely oblivious to whatever the heck you're on about. I mean...I enjoyed it. And I figured out what SI-MAE stands for! I'm working on one called "My Friends" that is extremely similar to yours, but I'll see if it flies, ahight? 4-4-5
Apricot - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks on behalf of the Father. I'll pass on the message. What does SI-MAE stand for? I want to hear your guess.
Doe Doe Doe - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
made sense to me i liked it.
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I think it's an acronym for all of your names. Crystal Shades, Icy, (-) Maya, Apricot and Father Edmund. Soooo obvious. ;-)
Apricot - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
You read our other parody, didn't you? Icy gave that exact same explanation. If not, we salute you!
Apricot - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes! No spite votes!
Apricot - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
How did the votes get changed? They were not 1-1-1s before.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Obviously they were wiped out by the big 'wiping out' scandal of July 28th and then you've had several people finding your parody, for whatever reason, less than the best on this site.
Icy - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I bet it was fans of the 80s... It's always fans of the 80s.... Giving me spite votes...
Scathe - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I can't believe the 1's, on this song. Maybe some people don't like updated songs. 8o
peyton youve got to read this - January 05, 2006 - Report this comment
i read where you said that you didnt see the second or third that you only saw the first and you didnt like it ...... dude i like the movie but i hated the first one i thought it was the stupidest thing that i had ever saw but i went with my friend to see the 2nd and 3rd it wasa blast the first one is lame ill give you that but take the time out of your day and go check it out it is awsome please your missing out

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