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Song Parodies -> "The Vegetarian"

Original Song Title:

"The Scientist"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Coldplay

Parody Song Title:

"The Vegetarian"

Parody Written by:

Elena M.

The Lyrics

I'm still pro-vegan, just be careful about letting your system adjust!
Hummus and pita, tofu and garlic,
I know how healthy you are.
Soymilk and grape-nuts, dried fruit and peanuts,
But fake meat tastes just like tar.
Becoming a vegan, I did have a reason,
Animal rights was at the heart,
So many veggies, that are in season,
But digesting beans tears me apart.

Nobody it said it was easy,
Nobody said how much I'd fart.
I'm constipated and queasy,
No one ever said my stools would be so hard--
I'm craving bacon and lard.

I took some ex-lax, drank so much prune juice
It didn't seem to help me at all.
I suddenly felt it, down in my caboose,
That's when I rushed into the stall.
I need some meat now, animal protein,
Put those steaks in my shopping cart.
Maybe some Beano, my stomach is bloating,
The diarrhea's about to start.

Nobody it said it was easy,
Nobody said how much I'd fart.
I'm constipated and queasy,
No one ever said my stools would be so hard--
I'm craving bacon and lard.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.1
How Funny: 2.1
Overall Rating: 1.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 6
 6
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   2
 1
 2
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 2
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Static - November 22, 2003 - Report this comment
555! Hey, there's somebody with the same name as you posting stuff on another site I frequent, slamballfan.com. That's not you, is it?
Leah Lockhart - November 22, 2003 - Report this comment
No, I don't post on that site... are they at least nice? Maybe I should change my screen name after all!!
AussieBullDog - November 22, 2003 - Report this comment
Pacing was a little off here and there, but a good effort. Keep it up. :)
Leah Lockhart - November 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, I couldn't quite get it all... but I got bored with the song and gave up and just posted it anyway. Thanks!
Tim Hall - November 23, 2003 - Report this comment
I did see your comments regarding Tofurky and came here. Have you ever tried it?
Leah Lockhart - November 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Sorry Tim, I missed your comment before. Yes, I've had Tofurkey. Costs a lot and tastes like rubber. Comes with fake wishbones though.
Louise Bradley - March 09, 2007 - Report this comment
OMG IM VEGETARIAN AND I HARDLY EVER FART OR GET CONSTIPATION OR DIARHEO. IN FACT I AM MUCH MORE HEALTHIER SINCE I BECAME A VEGETARIAN. I HAVE BEEN VEGETARIAN FOR MORE THAN 2 YEARS AND THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER FOODS OTHER THAN MEAT. WHO EVER WROTE THAT SONG IS GREEDY AND SELFISH
Santi - June 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey! just WTF is going on in that junk you call brain of yours, give us a F break man, we do have a hard time already making people realize how F up is killing for living.

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