Once I met a stranger, who lived for real danger
Tall and blonde his name was Leon
Such instant attraction to this man of action
Wasn’t long ‘til we got it on

But – oh! – how was I to know
That he had no co-ordin-a-tion
I’d heard of dumb sporty nerds
Who were clumsy as hell and my partner Leon was one

Spent his life in plaster, extreme sports disaster
Dates all ended in A&E
Two left feet and no brain, with permanent groin strain
But I stood by him faithfully

One day he heard someone say
That to go bungee jumping was fun
Boldly he said “That’s for me!”
So we drove to a place and my partner Leon went on

(Wispy, flute-y interlude bit, building up to Big Dramatic Finish!!)

No hope with that bungee rope
No-one knew it was two feet too long
Went smack and didn’t bounce back
Took one dumb leap of faith and my partner Leon was gone!