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Song Parodies -> "Before She Bleats"

Original Song Title:

"Before He Cheats"

Original Performer:

Carrie Underwood

Parody Song Title:

"Before She Bleats"

Parody Written by:

Ravyn Rant

The Lyrics

I didn't want to make a contribution to the "animal husbandry" school of parody until I had something that was at least a little different. I can't recall having seen any parodies from the perspective of the insanely jealous shepherd's wife...
Right now, he's prob-ly daydreamin' bout a big bad ewe and behavior that is risky
Right now, he's prob-ly thinkin' of her fluffy little tail, hopin' she'll be frisky
Right now, he's prob-ly ruminatin' that no one could possibly figure out where he goes
But he don't know...

That I slashed my knife right through the hide
Of my hubby's dirty secret part-time bride
Carved her up down to her little feets
I served a platter of haggis with great delight
Now the sheep's in him tonight
Maybe next time he'll quit before she bleats

Right now, he's prob-ly still thinkin' 'bout that slut waitin' while he's headin' for the pasture
Right now, he's prob-ly sippin' Woolite, and he's a-thinkin' that she's more mature than last year
Right now, he's prob-ly lookin' for his three buck jar of that new-mown hay smell
Oh, he'll burn in Hell

So I lured her out behind the barn
With my sudden urgent need to spin some yarn
Sheepishly she went to her defeat
I made an excellent meal he'll love to munch
Sacrificial lamb for lunch
Maybe next time he'll quit before she bleats

I might-a caused a little ruckus in the barnyard
And the next ewe I hear bleat
Oh, she'd best be afraid of me
Oh-oh-oh, 'fraid of me...

'Cause I dug my knife into the hide
Of my hubby's saucy lamb chop part-time bride
Then I served him as he took a seat
I carved that platter of haggis with great delight
Yes, the sheep's in him tonight
Maybe next time he'll quit before she bleats
Oh, maybe next time he'll quit...before she bleats
Oh, before she bleats

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - January 03, 2007 - Report this comment
wonderfully twisted....that's one way to get rid of the "other woman" for sure
Ravyn - January 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks're a real lamb! :)
Tommy Turtle - January 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I'd been away from here for quite awhile, and forgotten about all the ovine gags... This was indeed an original POV, and all the sheep/lamb/wool references were great (esp. "drinking Woolite". Very baaaaaaahd and funny. 555
PMS - January 03, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I wool trust ewe to pace correctly anytime. Great twist esp the line about "Woolite"
Ravyn - January 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Tommy, PMS - thank you!

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