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Song Parodies -> "A Horny Geek"

Original Song Title:

"Before He Cheats"

Original Performer:

Carrie Underwood

Parody Song Title:

"A Horny Geek"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Right now, he's in his mom's basement with his loser friends,
They're playin Dungeons and Dragons
I thought, "I'm cute and he's a nerd, he'll have eyes just for me," but interest is laggin'...
Right now, I'm lying in bed in my french maid costume, with my whip, and some cherry love foam...
But he's not home...

When I pull my skirt up past my thighs he just keeps rollin his twenty-sided die,
He won't even try to sneak a peak...
I try to flirt and talk dirty, with nothing on,
He replies...but in Klingon!
Maybe next time I'll date a horny geek

Right now, he's probably up testing some
Alpha version of an obscure video game
Right now, I'm up with candles and wine
He's busy building a lightsaber cause he's lame,
When I...say, "Baby, rock my world!" He shows up and plays me Guitar Hero
Ohhh...He's got to go...

When he picks me up I don't know why he re-cites seven thousand digits of pi
Odds of getting laid are looking bleak,
He just won't come to bed when I turn off the light
Plays World Of Warcraft all night...
Next time I'll have to date a horny geek

I'm not against a little gaming on his X-Box,
But the next time I date geeks
Oh, they'd better roleplay with me
No...D and D...

He wears clip-on ties, pit stains are soaked, and he laughs too much at farts and bathroom jokes,
All his puns are forced and pretty weak...
But I'll try speaking his language, "Love Star Wars, right?"
"Babe let's make Wookiee all night!"
Maybe I can create a horny geek

Ohh.. baby I'd love to date a horny geek

Ohh...a bedroom freak...


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 35

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   4
 5   30

User Comments

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Jason - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
I remember Dungeons And Dragons so I can relate to this. 555
Invisible Boy - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved it. I hope this description doesn't fit many of us here...
alvin - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
lol...this is hilarious..great concept
Jack Wilson - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
This was AWESOME!! 5s
Jeff Reuben - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you Jason, Invisible Boy, Alvin and Jack!
2Eagle - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Matthias - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
I hate the original song, and that makes this parody all so much better. I think you're referring to yourself with the forced puns line, although I did like "Let's make Wookie all night".
UnKnownVotress - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Lord Reuben, . . . if you wear ' that apron' while playing Guitar Hero, I'll follow you down the road to GeekDom Central, Sir.
Jeff Reuben - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
2Eagle: Thanks! Matthias: Glad I could make it bareable for you. Votress: I see a common theme in your comments on my songs :)
AFW - June 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Sex humor...gotta' love sex humor..
Arwen - June 15, 2008 - Report this comment
I think I've dated this guy. And, for the record, I totally kicked his trash at Guitar Hero before I dumped him. ; ) Nice work, Mr. Reuben. =)
Kristof Robertson - June 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Wonderful, Jeff...geeks and relationship problems go hand-in-hand. "When I pull my skirt up past my thighs he just keeps rollin his twenty-sided die," was a fave for me. Top stuff! 555+

p.s. Arwen, I LOLed at "totally kicked his trash"...gotta remember that one...:-D
Jeff Reuben - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen, Kristof. I thought of the twenty-sided die line early and decided to roll with it :)
Jason - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See my above comment.
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I like this a lot, especially taking a female POV, which takes a risk--add to that the hard pacing to match. (this chick needs to broaden her playing field!). 555
Peter Andersson - July 20, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - French maid costume, a whip and some cherry love foam - or waving the lightsaber while playing D&D - hmm, now that's a tough one...
Max Power - July 20, 2008 - Report this comment
555 dose of viagra
Jeff Reuben - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Peter, just depends what you mean by "waving your lightsaber" :)
McKludge - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - Agree that the OS deserves as much lampooning as it can get, and this hit the mark. 555

If you could find a good female vocalist, this would make an excellent recording.
bobpiecheese - July 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) And this girl was dating the nerd in the first place? She's gotta be desperate. Anyways, this was grade-A genius Jeff. May the 5's be with you!
Matthias - July 30, 2008 - Report this comment
PLEASE give me this girls number. I'm a huge nerd and I could really use a girl like this. Great idea of creating a girl with a nerd fetish.
Phil Alexander - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Bugger.. lost my last comment 'cause the capcha image only half-displayed and when I hit "back" the comment had gone. Never mind, it was only the wittiest, funniest comment I'd written... Anyway, a hilarious parody - loved the "rock my world/guitar hero" thing.
Below Average Dave - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Love the paraoke to it, love the write, one of my favorites by you (next to Homely No More of course) Expect big points from me on this one.
Guy - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-Jun-08) This guy's got some serious geek-addiction. I've seen the type - I work with a few. You described them to a tee. I consider myself a geek - you may have noted that I have a few geek based parodies on this site, but if I'd had my druthers between writing a geek parody especially in my younger days and a hot babe wanted my bones, the parody would have to wait a bit. Great thought put into this one.
Red Ant - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Sometimes I love paraokes more than "real" recordings - such was the case here. Very funny work, Jeff. Loved the "wookiee" line as well. 555
Matthias - February 28, 2009 - Report this comment
The line "Baby, rock my world!" He shows up and plays me Guitar Hero... Actually made me LOL. You should turn this paroke into an actual recording, I loved this one too Jeff. No wonder you won Artist of the year, this was amazing! And to a song that actually really annoyed me until I heard this version of it. Good job here.
Jeff Reuben - March 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Ant and Matty! Matty, I actually changed the next line in the recording (it's coming RA) from "He's got to go" to "He's got the codes!" Went over well at a karaoke bar :)
Miss-Iffy-Queen - March 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved reading this again, Lord Jeffry, ~The Duke o'Apron~
Glen S - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done, Jeff. But you knew that. UNDERSTAND YOUR PRIORITIES, all you geeks.
Invisible Boy - March 23, 2009 - Report this comment
What have you got against Greeks...oops...never mind.
Still love it !!!

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