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Song Parodies -> "Before She Eats"

Original Song Title:

"Before He Cheats"

Original Performer:

Carrie Underwood

Parody Song Title:

"Before She Eats"

Parody Written by:

Gina Stanley

The Lyrics

Right now, she's probly reminiscing 'bout the times when everybody thought she looked like such a hottie
Right now, she's probly urinating 'cause she's trying to expel all the liquids from her body
Right now, she's probably dreading all the digits that she sees when she steps up on the scale
Another diet failed.

Cause she dug her spoon into the dips of a 27 flavor banana split
Scarfed down an entire bag of Cheetos
She mixed up a bowl of fudge brownie batter
Twenty minutes later it's gone and she's fatter
Maybe next time she'll think before she eats.

Right now, she's on the internet and she's buying a suppresant that the FDA banned.
Right now, she's thinking 'bout the donuts that she noticed at the bottom of her garbage can
Right now, she's probly at the end of a bag of Hersey's kisses and feeling like a whale.
Another diet failed


She could've saved a little pizza for the next guy
But the next time she's at the buffet
Oh, you know they'll just turn her away
Ohoh....what does she weigh?

After digging her spoon...(back to Chorus)

Copyright 2007 - Gina Stanley

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   16

User Comments

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Project Sisyphus - October 09, 2007 - Report this comment
It made me hungry! 555
TJC - October 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice, Gina! This parody was better put-together than a Billroth II bypass anastomosis!
zPolak - October 10, 2007 - Report this comment
no. 0 stars.
your mom - October 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Aaaaak. Was eating M&Ms while reading this. *dies a little* Thanks for making me feel fat, but funny parody.
Gina - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
First-time contributor, am I. Nothing too cerebral, just something that popped in my head. Thanks for making me feel welcome, those of you with nice comments and medical references. I'll ignore the mean guy
tennis bud renee - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Well done Gina, your talents are limitless!
becky sans fritz - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
great job gina. makes me think of the piece of pie i just had! amazing that you knew! lol
TulsaTim - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, probably the best parodie of a song by a Choteau native by a McAlester native that I have ever read. Will you be doing the recording yourself.
Niki - Texas - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Boy I need to exercise. I think I'll run an extra mile tomorrow. Good job!
Hannah - February 14, 2008 - Report this comment
LMAO! Thats awesome
Violet 3.14159 - January 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice! I like it!

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