Right now, I hope she's in Sing Sing.
...For all the pain and aggravation she's caused me.

I was, shooting pool with Cousin Judy.
...When she probably thought I was out with some floozie...

My friends, had told me in advance - that I should dump her & that she's a psycho...

How was I to know...

So instead of coming over and saying "Hi"
She trashed my truck and both headlights...
And I JUST wiped down my dash from her stinky feet....

She ran my credit cards up high.
Emailed my parents and told them lies!

So maybe next time - I'll have to call the police...


Right then, I knew what had just happened.
When I saw her humming the theme song from The Omen.

She's Nuts! She's totally psychopathic.
Now that I think about it she should use chloroseptic...

My cuz, who I haven't seen in years...
So I Thought I'd show her around and maybe have a few beers...

Now I have to fear...

So instead of trying to rationalize
She peed on my hood & slashed my tires
She even washed all my darks with clorox bleach...

She gets her ideas from watching Lifetime
Even Dr. Phil would lose his mind.

Maybe next time I'll have call the police.

I even gave her a bunch of money to leave me alone
I have an eye open when I sleep...

...Next time I'll call the police
(yeah, the authorities...)

She put my name on the herpes website
Now I can't get any sleep at night
She even mis-spelled her name on my drivers seat!

She's stalking me, she never gets tired
Hid in the bushes and started fires

Ohh... If you don't hear from me, please... call the police.
Yeah... Call the police....